An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation


I know, I know, you don’t like purple. Or black. And that font over there is too small to read. And don’t even get you started on squares, they’re almost as bad as having to walk around with a rock in your shoe. These are all valid complaints and are being taken very seriously. Or at least, somewhat seriously, because there was this one email that was very passionate in its hatred of this change, and she was all DIE! DIE! DIE! and then there at the bottom was her signature followed by a quote from Jesus.

I’m going to let Jon talk about all the technical issues surrounding this redesign and why we decided to go with a different content management system, because all I did was draw up a design in Photoshop and say MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THIS. He has been knee-deep in code for almost two months now, and the only way we were able to launch the new design this soon and not, say, after we had both died of old age is because he had help from two expert developers, Ben Durbin and Bill Bostick. The amount and quality of work that they did was indispensable, cannot recommend them enough, and mostly I just want to thank them for all the support they gave Jon because without them he would have gone completely bald.

Yesterday as we neared the final stretch I decided to take Leta out to run some errands so Jon could project manage those last few tasks without being distracted by the sound of her body tossing itself on the floor. He briefly got up from this desk to kiss me goodbye when I noticed two giant sweat stains underneath his arms, and I was all, are you running on a treadmill while coding my website? Isn’t that complicated? And he’s all, yes I’m running on a treadmill, WITH MY BRAIN.

So what did I hope to accomplish with this redesign? First and foremost, I wanted to be able to post bigger photographs. That was a huge problem with the previous design, and for years I could only post photos that were 450 pixels wide. Which is why I always posted vertical photos, just to get as much out of those 450 pixels as possible. Now the width is almost double that, which gives me so much more freedom with the camera.

Two, I wanted to start a Daily Style section, some place to store my thoughts and photographs on the design of things in everyday life. When brainstorming ways to incorporate that into the site it made sense to make it a feature like the Daily Photo and Daily Chuck, mainly because I wanted it to include a photograph I’d taken of the object myself to emphasize the fact that these are things I use, these are things in my home.

Three, the Daily Links section has moved from the sidebar into the main content column. This is to give those links more emphasis, and sometime this week the background color of those entries will change color a tiny bit to differentiate them from the other posts. Also coming this week: a “previous” and “next” button at the bottom of all the posts for easier navigation and a redirected RSS feed (so you won’t have to re-subscribe to it).

Finally, I’m hoping to be able to open comments more frequently with this redesign. In recent months when I opened comments my server would crash under the 17 million scripts that ran to publish a single comment, and often people would think that their comment hadn’t published only to have it publish ten times in a row. That had everything to do with how the pages were built, and we think we’ve solved this problem.

Soon we’ll find out because I’m going to open up comments on this post to get your feedback, and I just totally winced writing that. Please be gentle for I am a delicate flower. Also, before you leave a comment you are required to watch this video. Twice. (video is not completely safe for work, but worth getting yelled at for it)

Also also, while comments are open, is there any question you’d like to see answered in the FAQ? Other than SHOW US YR TITZZ!!!!!!!!!! Because that question is getting old.

  • I like the new format just fine. Didn’t mind the old one, either, but if this lets you do what you want to better than the old one, great.

  • Patty

    OMG, I’m actually commenting in Dooce’s blog. Kick ass, sea bass.

    Anyway, everything about you is awesome. That’s all.

  • kat


  • I *love* the colors and the new design! Congrats!!

    I hope you all have a lovely Thanksgiving 🙂

  • Autumn

    I love your site oh so much. 🙂 Thanks for writing.

  • I think change is good. I have to say though,that it doesn’t have the visual flow and warmth of the old design. But I do agree that the photos are an improvement.

  • Wow! 1000-plus comments! Nice. The photos are just gorgeous…really, really gorgeous. The site looks great. You are a talented, snort-out-loud funny writer — that’s the reason I come here.

  • lekki

    LOVE purple & black. How dare anybody say they don’t like it. Love the look of the new site too. 🙂

  • 1000!

    Looks great.

  • Okay – you officially win Mother of the Year Award. Not for you and Leta, but b/c that video? Well, my 14-year old daughter and I just spend 5 solid minutes (watching it TWICE, yes, indeedy, at HER request), laughing our asses off. Ipod Girl and the second FIRST did it. Trust me, when Leta is 14, you’ll REALLY savor the moment.

    And for the record, I like purple. And black.

    Hope Jon is getting some quality sex in payback for his hard work.

  • I think it really looks great, no complaints here! And I love the new content that has been added.
    The only quibble I have is the lack of next/ previous buttons, which I can see both here and at blurbomat, are coming. I was browsing through the old mastheads (I wanted to see the ones from before I started reading), and it was a pain in the ass. Back. Click. Click (masthead opens in new window). Heh. Back. Click. Click. [Repeat until irritated, about 5 minutes, figure will come back to it later when bugs have been worked out].

    It really does look great though, and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH PURPLE. Don’t let the haters get you down.
    That video made me feel like randomly shouting, “Pwned!”

  • sam

    I love purple and black. Yay. At least some of us win.

  • Crazy kookie kinky cool.

  • I don’t care what the nay-sayers say. I love the new design. And the colors. And the fonts. Everything works together so well. Great job!

  • Love it, Heather. 🙂

  • Ivy

    Awesome new design! It’s eye-catching and quite different than most other blogs. Kudos to all the work that went into the new design!

  • Chris

    Lovely, clean design!!

    My only wish would be for a time stamp on the posts – somehow it’s grounding to have some idea of when a blog post is published. I always wonder – was that an early morning post? Or a late night ramble?

  • The design is awesome, some of the images the font on them is blurry. I would suggest fixing that since they are considered pixel fonts and who wants blurry pixel fonts.

    Also, the video cracked me up the second time. I did not get it the first time, but I did get a light bulb in my head after the second sheet he pulled up.

  • Love the purple! Very pretty. Very functional. But no more Daily Chuck in my RSS feed? That makes me sad. I’d love to get the Daily Style there, too. I have a silly dial-up connection because I live in the middle of nowhere, so I’m much more likely to see whatever content is delivered over RSS.

  • Marlana

    I love the new site! Especially the daily style. I just love love love you guys! I look forward to reading you above anything else on the web.

  • I like it. It’s very colorful.

  • aussiegal

    But but but… I LOVE purple and I really dig this redesign. Last one was cool, but this one kicks ass. Cheers for a great job!


  • Amy

    Every time I try to load the new site on my Blackberry, it freezes the whole thing up and I have to take my battery out to get it back 🙁 It looks nice, though, so I can probably suck it up and deal with waiting.

  • Sorry, but the huge photos almost kill my browser. I think a smaller size would be more user friendly. Also, I think the title ” I also take photos of my dog, everyday” really added to the charm of the site. Other than that,congrats on getting a new layout!

  • Love, love the new layout and the addition of the ‘style’. I noticed the photos were gorgeously big right away! Kudos to Jon! Have a lovely, hopefully relaxing Thanksgiving!

  • I think it was worth all of the brain sweat. (so much less offensive than ball sweat). It looks great, flows nicely, has style, and I like black and purple, reminds me of my rugby career. And Chuck rocks.

  • Meegan

    I like the new look, although I’m a little blind and think the font is a WEE bit tiny. Love that your pics are larger now. They deserve more space.

    Also, the picture of you, in full size, is nothing short of stunning. Seriously. But I think it doesn’t represent as well in a thumbnail. Maybe that’s because your beauty can’t be contained? (Delicate flower?) Dunno. But when the pic is small you look…irritated? Surly? And when the pic is large you look like you should be on America’s Next Top Model. Fierce, Woman!

  • I love the new design and now have to go read 900+ comments thinking of the old days

  • oh and SHOW ME UR TITZZ isn’t a question.

  • I like the new look. I would love it if all you did was post gigantic photos of Chuck but what you have will do! Someone else metioned it but I will miss seeing photos with your posts but girl it’s your site and your design and if you made it all black with dark brown font I would find a way to read it. Yeah! I also like that Dooce is now a registered trademark…or is that TM and R is just registered?

  • Hey, maybe I’ll be #1000! I love the new design. It’s spectacular! The larger photos, especially, are extremely nice. Do not fear change. Change is good.

  • kellyjoco

    I too fear change but I will adapt.
    Is all of us being first some kinda ass kiss?

  • Well, I love the new site design. And despite what your DIE! DIE! DIE! correspondent said, I think I’m speaking for everyone, including Jesus when I say we’d all like to see your tits.


  • That video rocks. I’m totally stealing it.

  • i’m not really a fan of change, BUT THIS, I LIKE! it’s bold, it’s fresh, it’s clean… i love it!

  • Cate

    New layout will take some getting used to, I admit. But I’ve always loved the dynamic look of dooce – new monthly mastheads a favorite. Bigger daily photographs – Yay! You’re an amazing photographer and more examples of that talent are always fun (and instructive in how not talented I might be in comparison). I do wish the masthead archives were more accessible – weren’t all the previous mastheads once upon a time all on one page? A quibble, really. I should be taking this precious commenting opportunity to say that I have loved this site – your humor, your honesty, your style – for years, and that a new post is always a treat somewhere on par with sleeping in til noon then spending the day in pajamas while drinking cheap wine and eating frozen desserts from Target and watching British TV.

  • Jessica

    I couldn’t figure out why you changed the website as it didn’t seem like anything other than the look but reading your post explains it all. I’m glad you found a new system that will work for you and I’m glad to finally be able to comment. Really sorry about the baby. I cried when I read it. Great work on the website. Tell all the hater to lick my stinky ass!

  • Joe

    Holy shit; 967 comments. I am such a worthless piece of shit…

  • I like the new look.

  • Well I like the new layout. It looks more professional.

  • eve

    i like the redesign, however i no longer receive the daily photos or the daily chuck in my rss feed. are they published under a separate feed? Thanks!

  • Mark

    I like the color scheme, but not so much the squares. Your sight usually reflects a more refined graphic design ability than this one does.

    But I come here for the posts and the pics, not the graphic design. And those still rock.

    And I LOVED the video clip!!!

  • Problem: It says “76 Comments” under your first entry but there are actually over 900.

  • Elle

    I wanted to email you as soon as I saw the redesign, so I’m glad you opened comments.

    First, the black and purple against the white is just too much, especially since the header is also way too big. The little boxes at the bottom (About This Site, etc) are just… not attractive. Not exactly ugly, but they certainly don’t add to anything.

    Second, the ads are now almost equal in size to the text. Visually, it’s ugly and distracting and just not nice. The combination of the giant banner and giant ads makes the text look like a casual afterthought, when its ostensibly what made you “famous”. Maybe you’re intentionally moving away from the writing aspect of the site, I don’t know.

    Third, tiny quibble: The header text on the entries is way too big and looks terrible.

    The final product actually looks much more unprofessional than the previous design, even if it is technically superior.

  • The old design was easier to read. Better photo of you, tho.

  • Gina

    I like the new look, and I am so glad you removed that crap about loving Britney Spears’ chest on your ‘about’ page. Even before her current state, I thought that was icky.

  • Amy Jenkins

    You have amazed me from the 1st time I read your site. I think you are truely amazing & have done wonderful things. I don’t know if you realize what a profound affect you have had on people. Those who don’t have kind words to express to you about what you do everyday & how you are able to share your personal life the way you do must be absolutely crazy & just looking for something to Bitch about! If they don’t like it, read something else! I sent you a personal email about my own struggles & was so thrilled when I received one back from you. Your positive words have helped me, and it’s wonderful to know that there are people that I can relate to!
    From one woman & mother to another:

    YOU are a Fabulous woman, mother & wife! Keep doing what you are doing!!!

  • surcey

    Am I the only one who had to look up POWN?

    “Pwn is a slang term that implies domination and/or humiliation of a rival. It sprang from the similar term “owned” and is used primarily in the Internet gaming culture to taunt an opponent that has just been soundly defeated.”

  • This is the first time I have been to your blog so I have no comment on the new design….however I DID watch the required video prior to commenting and I want you to know that I am going to have to sue you for the coke zero that is now all over my new 24″ imac….I haven’t laughed that hard in quite awhile. Hopefully I will still be able to use my computer so I can return!

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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