An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Sleepless nights ahead

Hello, Internet! How I have missed the smell of your breath in the morning!

It’s been much too long since we last spoke, but just when I thought my strep throat was on its way out I came down with a sinus infection. Plus, we had guests in town, plus Leta got sick, plus a death in the family and other devastating news. It’s as if the Universe is bi-polar and isn’t taking her meds, and we all know what that means. Mr. Universe has to dodge flying produce and sleep on an air mattress in the spare bedroom.

We had a wonderful Christmas together, but night after night with the extended family can really take its toll. Leta has learned several new church hymns and we’ve spent the last few days washing her brain out with soap. I’m very excited to get back to our normal lives, and starting tomorrow I’ll be back to my regular posting schedule. I’ve got many stories to tell about Leta’s reaction to Christmas, our weekend spent with my best friend from high school, and the many thoughtful things that Jon gave to me as gifts, including one in particular that stood out from the rest.

Introducing: Dame Eleanor Ritzford-Fitzsimons Puffs. You can just call her Coco.

She’s not a hippopotamus, but she’ll do I GUESS.

  • Coco looks adorable! Great, I want a puppy now but since I didn’t even get the Wii I requested, so I’ll have to live vicariously.

  • Layler

    Oh my goodness! What a gorgeous little sweetie! And I’m a cat person!! What kind of dog is it? Bernese Mountain Dog?? OMG, I can’t wait to hear what Chuck thinks of all this. Poor guy is now 3rd fiddle!

  • she is such a cutey! I can’t wait to see how chuck is dealing with her. The last time i introduced a new pet into the house one our cats had a $1500 vet visit because she was soo shocked that her liver shut down.

  • Oh. My. GAWD!!! She is hella cute. But, I bet she likes Crocs, eh? That is why Jon got her, isn’t it? They are gaining in numbers, I tell ya.

    Welcome back. I was jonesing for you.

  • Jenn

    Yeah, she’s no baby hippo, but really cute. Hope you feel better soon.

  • becks

    Border Collie? I can’t wait to hear the whole story. Feel better!

  • Red i can’t wait to hear all of the stories! glad you’re back. the internet missed you terribly.

  • Welcome back,

    We missed you.

    The Internet

    p.s. Coco is ridiculously cute. As a matter of fact, it’s felonious cuteness.

  • Anonymous

    Hope all the yuckiness is over for you guys. Congrats on the new member of the fam! Bet you’ll talk about this but hoping you didn’t buy the new puppy and adopted instead…??? Enjoy the cuddles!

  • geekbride

    She’s such a sweet nubbin!!
    Happiness to your new addition!

  • Oh lordy, that’s one adorable gift. Much better than the giftcard I got. I imagine you’ll have to add another tab up there, a Daily Coco!

  • Carrie

    Tres gorgeous puppy face! Good luck with her and with keeping her out of Leta’s stuff. (Like my vet told me, “Just remember, a tired puppy is a good puppy.”)

  • Clairebell


    Well it can only get better. Right? RIGHT??

  • Is she tail-less or has Leta gotten over her difficulty with creatures having tails?

  • jt

    Welcome back, Heather. The InterWebs were a much less colorful and enjoyable place while you were gone.


  • eej

    She looks like a black tri aussie mix. Adorable and beautiful. Congrats!!!

    I think the obtaining of a hippo is a multi-year process so in all likelihood Jon is still working on it.

  • Lyn

    Too cute! No I mean it – the Cute is so powerful that I think my head is exploding from the Cute.

  • Oh, I just wanna squish that wittle face! Such a cutie pie. Is Chuck not speaking to you right now? (ha)

  • So cute Heather!!!

  • Wait a minute …

    ” … plus a death in the family and other devastating news.”

    And now a new puppy? Perish the thought, but did something happen to Chuck?

  • Awww! Coco is PRECIOUS! However, I am very concerned how Chuck’s going to handle this.

  • Amber

    She’s gorgeous! Bernese Mountain Dog?

    Oh the cuteness!

  • Lorna

    Do we get a new “Daily Coco” now, too?

  • Christine

    Oh my, she is absolutely adorable! I can’t wait to see her and Chuck together. Congratulations on your newest addition!

  • So… does this mean Jon has some *more* work to do on the page, i.e. adding a Daily Coco section?

    Aww cute!

  • MonkeyMac

    That is the cutest puppy ever! I’m so glad you’re feeling better and back to posting, I’ve missed my daily dose of Heather.

  • Liz

    Aw, cute new dog to take pictures of. And a post after about a million years of no posting. The day is good.

  • Is Coco a Bernese Mountain Dog? Cute!

  • kitty

    I’m also scared about this “death in the family” and no mention of Chuck.

    I hope all is okay or getting to be okay.


  • HEATHER!!!!! How I missed thee!

    I cannot wait to see you attempt to balance Coco on Chuck’s head.

  • belleplaine

    Thank god you’re back. I was ready to abandon hope. Also, cute puppy.

  • Laura

    Yea! You’re back! Coco is adorable! Hope Leta is enjoying the new dog. 🙂

  • Jane

    Congrats on the “baby”! What does Chuck think?

  • JEN

    She is absolutely gorgeous. I’m sure your house dynamics will change now. Can’t wait to see photos of her and Chuck.

  • Jamie

    I am so glad you’re back, Heather! The internet has missed you a lot. It sounds like your holidays were full of a concentrated dose of all the good and the bad that life has to give. I bet we’ll have a good bit of reading to do pretty soon. Can’t wait.

    Take care of yourself! Kiss that Coco on the nose for all of us.

  • Well, hello, Ms. Coco! Aren’t you adorable! What kind of dog is she?

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Heather!


  • I am glad you are back and healthy. And Coco is so cute.

  • Damn. I was hoping you would get the hippo. I was all geared up for the new Daily Hippo section.

  • Katie Kat

    *Stares in disbelief*

    But… but… you ALREADY have the world’s best dog!

    Then again… CUTENESS GALORE.

  • I’m in LOVE! But is Chuckles?

  • OMG, that is one seriously cute dog. Does she have a brother or sister who may want to live on the east coast, do you think? Maybe?

    Adorable. I hope all the sickness leaves with the new year and doesn’t come back.

  • I’m not usually much of a commenter, but oh that dog! I was so surprised. She is so cute. I honestly almost cried from the cuteness of those pictures. And, yes, I’m hormonal, but still — so cute!!!

    So do we get daily Coco now too? Please say yes!

  • What a cutie! You must be so proud. And welcome back after surviving the holidays! It sounds like you had more than your fair share to deal with.


  • Beret

    Sleepless nights indeed! Border collie? Aussie? SO cute.

    Our puppy is now 6 months old and still so much work it’s unbelievable. Of course, he’s worth it.

    I can’t wait for the stories.

  • Bernese Mountain Puppy or Australian Shepherd? ADORABLE–snoggle, snoggle.

  • Patty

    She is SO CUTE! Congrats – and I hope you’re feeling better.

  • Actually, hippos are deadly animals. No really, read up on it. I read about hippos yesterday ironically and was stunned at how nasty they can be. When they “yawn”, they are warning you to BACK OFF. Who knew?

    You don’t want one. They would eat Chuck for starters. Then the garage doors. Then a hippo rampage through the neighborhood. It would be a complete disaster. The puppy is a much better option.

  • it’s really very sad how much i missed you in your absence. hello my name is sarah and i’m a dooce-a-holic.

    welcome, coco!

    we want details fast!!! this is such a tease!

    the internet

  • Kate


    I saw the photo and this is what I thought.

    I also think it will be very interesting to see what Leta’s reaction is to the puppy. A surly adult dog who has been around for years before you were born is a bit different from a fuzzy, playful, pretty puppy.

    Happy New Year and I’m glad you’re feeling better.

  • Awwwww! My heart is melting! Cannot wait to hear all about her and to see how quickly she learns to balance things on her head.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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