the smell of my desperation has become a stench

I can’t breathe!

When grape stomping goes horribly wrong.

This video has been around for a while, and the first time I saw it was at the beginning of last summer when my cousin GEORGE! showed it to me. And I wanted to link to it then, but I felt so much pity for the woman that I couldn’t bring myself to do it, although in the privacy of our home we pretty much made fun of her for three months straight. In fact, GEORGE! and I have a running joke where one of us will suddenly interrupt the other one and go, “STOP!” And then make this terrible noise like we’ve just fallen off a four-foot-high platform. Why am I linking to it now? What has changed? I thought, you know, someone out there right now is having a really crappy day, and maybe when they see this their whole mood will turn right around. You’re welcome.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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