the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Retro Seth Thomas tulip clock

I found this at my favorite local antique shop, The Green Ant, and the moment I saw it I thought, yeah, we’ll be taking that home, thank you very much. It plugs into the wall and keeps the correct time, except my correct time is much different than the world’s correct time, meaning that the clock in the kitchen must be two minutes slow, while the clock in the bathroom must be five minutes fast. This one I’ve to set ten minutes fast, don’t ask me why because I don’t think I could explain it. It’s just the way it has to be for me to live my life, and now you can understand why Jon is rapidly losing his hairline.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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