the smell of my desperation has become a stench

While watching an episode of “House”

Me: “Is that even legal? I didn’t know you could give half of your liver to someone who needs it.”

Jon: “I didn’t either, but I guess that’s why they say the liver is so magical.”

Me: “I’d give you half of my liver if you needed it.”

Jon: “I’d give you half of my liver, too.”

Me: “I’d even give you a kidney if you needed it.”

Jon: “I’d give you half of my liver and a kidney.”

Me: “I’d give you both of my kidneys.”

Jon: “I’d give you both of my kidneys and then steal two from somebody else and give you those, too.”

(… long pause …)

Me: “But I wouldn’t need four kidneys.”

Jon: “No, but you’d have options.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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