the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Jon refers to this tree as “Painful”

Jon often tells this story about how some freaky tree salesman canvassed all the new neighborhoods in the 50’s and 60’s and convinced everyone to plant this exact tree in their yards. They’re everywhere in these neighborhoods, and because they are fruit-bearing they are a total mess and leave crap all over the sidewalk year round. At one point, I think it’s in late fall, they drop these little round black seeds that look exactly like rabbit poo. And when I woke up one morning and our entire driveway was covered in them, I was all AN ARMY OF RABBITS HAS INVADED THE EARTH. WE’RE GOING TO DIE. And he was all, calm down. We’re going to die, just not yet.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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