An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Off to wrangle some cattle

Our flight to Austin leaves in about two hours, and here are my plans for the next several days:

1. Drool.

2. Wipe that drool on my sleeve.

This has been perhaps one of the most stressful weeks of my life, and I can’t believe I’m even standing right now, and here I am headed to a five-day party where people walk around just handing you canisters of liquor. There is a lot to look forward to about this weekend, but you want to know what I am most excited about? We don’t have to take a puppy outside to poop in the middle of the night. For four nights in a row. I will be doing so much sleeping that there won’t be any more sleeping left in the world. So if you wake up suddenly on Saturday night and find that you can’t get back to sleep, I’m sorry, I took all of it, and I’m not giving it back.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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