the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Lingering aroma of dog breath

“Oh my God, the dog smells so bad.”

“You see what they do all day. They are constantly chewing on each other.”

“You think that’s why she smells like that?”

“Dude, if I spent all day licking you you’d smell gross, too.”

“Pardon me if I’m not willing to test that theory.”

“You’re secretly hoping that I walk over right now and start chewing on your ear. ADMIT IT.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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