The little sister I never had

I’ve had an incredibly busy couple of days, and this morning I took my friend Cami to breakfast for her 20th birthday. She recently got accepted to BYU, and when I found out I felt the word CONGRATULATIONS! fall out of my mouth involuntarily, and then suddenly I realized THAT I MEANT IT. The inside of my brain listened in horror as I started listing off all the ways she was going to have fun, so I reached up and punched myself in the face.

These are the text messages we exchanged this morning as we figured out our plans:

Me: What time should I pick you up?

Cami: Just swing by after you drop Leta off at school.

Me: Cool, see you then.

Cami: Oh wait, will you bring me the cake pan I left at your house on Sunday?

Me: No.

Cami: Bitch.

Me: Ho bag.

Cami: Dildo.

Me: Butt muncher.

Cami: Carpet muncher.

Me: Mormon.

And then I guess the battery on her phone died. Or maybe the Lord turned it off for her.

We ate breakfast tacos at a local place called The Bakery, and as she scooped spoonfuls of whipped cream off the top of her hot chocolate I asked her what big plans she had for the rest of her birthday. She said she was going to dinner later on, but that this morning she’d go back to her apartment and maybe draw a picture. Or paint something. And she was so cute when she said it that I laughed at how innocent she sounded. But she was all, DO NOT LAUGH AT MY ART, and I was all, Cami, seriously, when I leave here I’m going to go home and take a picture of my dog. And put it on the Internet. And then I’ll probably write about my feelings on my blog. HOW ABOUT THEM PLANS?