the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Floor lamp

This is the KNAPPA KLÖVER floor lamp from Ikea, and I bought it while I was out shopping without Jon. I am sure that if he had been with me he would have tried to talk me out of this purchase, so I knew that I’d have to just show up at the house and say surprise! A new lamp! THAT YOU HAVE TO HELP ME ASSEMBLE. Fun! Fun!

It came in a rather flat, square-shaped package, and then it took us a good half hour to put it all together. And Jon has since admitted that he thinks it a rather charming addition to our living room, and not just because I was holding a gun to his head.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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