the smell of my desperation has become a stench

A smoke break

Coco is playful and loving and acts very much like a puppy only when she has determined that she can take a break from her job of making sure everything is okay. She is always working, always monitoring the location of every family member, always trying to herd Chuck back into the room with us. The other day she had a heart attack because a strange piece of discarded tissue blew across the driveway, a piece of tissue that I suppose could have been smeared with a deadly disease, A DANGEROUS PIECE OF TISSUE, so she alerted us and then alerted us some more and then continued to alert us for the next two days. I see a prescription for puppy Xanax in her future.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

read more