the smell of my desperation has become a stench

If Reese Witherspoon’s chin ever needed a stunt double I think I know where she could find one

The lovely Mary Fulginiti flew in from Los Angeles yesterday to interview me for the piece that will run on Nightline and Good Morning America next week. Jon was able to sneak in a few shots, and the camera crew did such an amazing job lighting the room that I want them to follow me around everywhere so that I can present the illusion that my complexion is that flawless. MAGICIANS, those people.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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