the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Animal print heels

I found these Liz Claiborne heels on the sale rack at Stein Mart, and the stars must have been aligned because they were the only pair and they were in my size. And they cost about no dollars. Jon thinks these are pushing it a bit and that it’s clear I’m slowly transforming into my Aunt Lola who is a self-described flashy dresser. Oh, Jon. It’s not the shoes I have in common with Lola. It’s the fact that I still laugh at fart jokes and scratch my butt in public.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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