Jon: “So he kept asking me if we were going to expand our line of merchandising.”
Me: “Yuck. Merchandising? That word has such a bitter aftertaste.”
Jon: “I told him our next product would be a dooce dildo.”
Me: “No.”
Jon: “Think about it.”
Me: “No.”
Jon: “We’d call it The Dooce.”
Me: “The only way I would ever agree to this is if there were a disclaimer in giant red letters across the top of the packaging that said USE ONLY TO MASSAGE YOUR WIFE’S BACK.”