An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

I never meant to cause you any sorrow

My mother gave me two pots of flowers for Mother’s Day, and now that summer has finally set it I’m having a hard time keeping these alive. If I don’t water them twice a day they pretend to fall over dead. This has happened three times now, I’ll look out the window and think OH GOD, I killed the flowers. And then I’ll go dump several cups of water on them and they’re all JUST KIDDING! I think they need some Zoloft.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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