the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Her porn star name would be Dirt Digger

I just this second caught Coco on video both crying and digging at the floor because Chuck won’t give up his bone (something I got a still photograph of yesterday), although the digging in the footage I caught is tiny in comparison to what she normally does. Like that one time we let her out to do her business and when we opened the door to let her back in found this:

coco likes to dig, part 1

And this (Note the discarded, dirty paper towel she stole out of the garbage can and took outside with her. It was a treasure!):

coco likes to dig part 2

And this is how far back she threw the soil:

coco likes to dig part 3

It’s like “go use the bathroom” translates from English into CRAZY as “we’ve buried two trunks of bacon next to the tree outside, why don’t you see if you can find them.”

So when Chuck isn’t feeling generous, this is what happens:

And then when he’s feeling sorry for her but not enough that it wouldn’t please him to screw with her, this happens:

We could put a stop to this at any second, but why? It’s like we’re living in the wild African Savannah but without the risk of death by stampede.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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