the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Would you like to supersize that?

Leta loves to play McDonald’s or Wendy’s with the cash register she got for Christmas last year, and Jon is usually singled out as her victim. “Daddy, would you like fries with that?” she’ll say, pretending he’s sitting in his car ordering through the drive-thru window. It seems she always wants to play this game about a half hour before we feed the dogs in the evening, meaning they are milling about the living room hungrily and anxiously going, now? How about now? NOW? And sometimes I totally expect Chuck to stand up on his hind legs and shout, “YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I WANT FRIES WITH THAT!”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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