the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Whoever invented pink needs a wet finger in his ear

A few weeks ago Leta and I went shopping for new dresses, and I made sure to hold each one up to her in the store and ask, “Are you sure you will wear this one?” She was so enthusiastic in the store that I didn’t think we’d have any problems, but when we got home she only wanted to wear the pink ones, even though the non-pink ones are actually the cutest of the bunch. So now in order to get her to wear the non-pink ones (like the one in this photo) I have to bend the truth a little bit, tell her that all the pink ones are dirty, and oops! The washing machine is broken, they won’t be clean for a few days. Either wear this cute dress OR GO NAKED. And then I have to explain to her why going naked is not an option.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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