the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Oblivious to the imminent chaos

I know, I know, there is no Chuck component to this photo. But that dog knows I’m pregnant and is so scared by what it means that he usually leaves the room when I enter. And Monday night after I had been gone for a day he was so agonized by my absence and what that might signify that he pooped all over the kitchen floor, something he has never done in his seven long years of life. So you’ll have to settle for Coco in this photo, although come on. Look at those markings. Doesn’t she look like a chocolate sundae topped with caramel syrup? Or is that my pregnancy brain?

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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