the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Sparkle ring

Last week when I was in Portland I had about an hour of free time one afternoon and spent it looking for a new ring to wear at the rest of my book signings. My hotel was just a block away from a giant Banana Republic, so I stopped in and found this huge, sea-urchin-like monstrosity. Because I like my jewelry to have a tiny touch of tacky. The media escort in San Francisco asked if Jon and I had designed this specifically for our wedding and did it cost a fortune? And when I told her I had bought it not two days previously for fifty bucks she said, listen, don’t ever tell anyone the truth. Make them think this is a one of a kind. Um, I think I just disregarded her advice completely.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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