the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Very proud of herself for getting through the morning routine without any fuss. The key: TIME EVERYTHING. Ten minutes to eat breakfast. Ten minutes to get dressed, brush hair, and brush teeth. Any extra time is play time. Period and done. No negotiating. Meaning, we have to treat her like we’re dealing with a vicious, blood-mongering lawyer.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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