Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Only thing missing is a side of waffle fries

So. Today is a bit of an exciting day around here because Microsoft has given me five Xbox consoles to give away to my readers, just in time for the holidays. And I’ll just go ahead and get the disclosure part of this out of the way: this is a sponsored giveaway. I do not do this sort of thing very often. Actually, only once before (and trust me, it drives my ad network totally nuts. Hi, FM!), but this seemed like something you guys would be really interested in and, hello, FIVE XBOXES. FOR FREE.

I’ll admit that all I knew about an Xbox before about a week ago was that my cousin GEORGE!, the one who lived in our basement for the summer of 2007, had one running at all times in his room. Along with three other gaming systems, two computers, a television, the ceiling fan, and who knows what else because our electric bill the first month he lived here was four times what it normally was. Oddly, he thinks it was that electric bill that has caused the rift that now exists between us. But it’s not. That rift has to do with something entirely unrelated to that electric bill, and because I’m not going to get into that mess here, I’ll just give him a two word hint: TOPLESS INTRUDER.

Fast forward to last week: we wanted to know as much as we could about the Xbox before we gave one away, so Jon went out and bought one, plus a few driving games as those are really the only ones I like to play. And he got this really awesome one that rewards aggressive, dangerous driving, and the more poles you hit and crashes you cause, the faster you hit that ramp and fly 70 feet into the air and land on top of that taco truck, the higher your score. Which to me is what Heaven will look like.

Have I ever told you about how I bought a brand new Honda Civic in 1999, and within the first five months of owning it I had to get the brakes replaced? Not because the brakes were defective, BUT BECAUSE THAT’S HOW I DRIVE. Every day I earn points by stopping closer and closer to the car in front of me, and sometimes I can get it down to millimeters. Just ask Jon and the gray hair in his beard.

As part of this giveaway Microsoft wanted me to share my “Ultimate Staycation” with you guys, and don’t worry, I just punched myself in the face for even writing that word. If they had asked me to use the word “solutioneering” I’m not so sure I could have mustered the strength.

And well, I get to live my ultimate staycation pretty much every day. Meaning, once we put both the kids down for the night, Jon and I curl up in bed with the two dogs, a cocktail, and an episode of either really excellent television or really awful television, the stuff in between is too boring. Like, either an episode of “The Wire” or something about plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. I suppose watching the sunset behind the Eiffel Tower in Paris might be an amazing way to spend an evening, but COME ON. You should see some of these nose jobs.

I think this may be Jon’s idea of an ultimate staycation:

So. Here is how this thing works, and no, I had nothing to do with these rules so don’t scream at me:

1. You must be 18 or over to enter.

2. You must live in the US.

3. You must read these rules.

4. Five commenters will be selected as winners. Please include your idea of an “Ultimate Staycation” in your comment, and y’all, keep it clean even if it does somehow include your balls.

Note: you must be signed in to leave a comment. If you sign up for multiple user accounts and try to enter under different profiles, you will be disqualified.

5. Comments will be open until tomorrow December 2, 2009 at 9PM Eastern.

6. Winners will be chosen randomly using

7. Winners will be announced on Friday.

8. Prize is an “Ultimate Xbox Bundle” which includes 1 – Xbox console, 3 – Family Fun Games, 1 – Gold Subscription to Xbox (1 Year) – Estimated package value $499

Ready, set, go!

PS. Here are the Xbox avatars we created for ourselves complete with my trademark grumpiness:

  • cindy gomez

    ultimate staycation involves eating mexican food and watching movies with the family.

  • jkells1

    My ultimate staycation…too much food, too much sleep, and way too much football on TV.

  • djchangchild

    *The Ultimate Staycation*
    Spending the summer at a beach house in New Zealand with my fiance. We’d cook food, watch dvds, take walks on the beach, and enjoy some quality time together.

  • laurah

    Booze, comfort food, comfy yoga pants, the mutts, the boyfriend, the TV, more booze.

    I could probably work an xbox into the plan.

  • pam1374

    My staycation involves surfing the internet all day, without a side of guilt that I should be doing the dishes!

  • AnEmily

    Well, my ideal staycation is pretty similar to yours: Kids asleep, cocktails in hand, bad tv(or good!). The only difference is that maybe it would be on the couch. I tend to pass out if I watch a screen in the bed, I can’t help it.

  • lizneilvoss

    My ultimate staycation would include pizza, hot chocolate (although not together), baking!, catching up on the DVR, having a fire in the fireplace, and maybe some Rockband!

    Also, a comfy couch (note: not the one I have right now), a big fluffy blanket, and lots of napping time.

    All accompanied by my dearest Andy V and our furry children, Ziggy and Tybalt.

    I should try to make one of my weekends look like this soon. Probably won’t happen until after the new year rolls over, though.

  • kryban

    My ultimate Staycation would involve chocolate chip waffles and ice cream for dinner every night, playing with Legos often (or maybe the lego rock band game), and definitely building a small fort out of blankets and pillows. This is the first time I’ve actually liked using the word Staycation.

  • Jessicad

    My ultimate staycation would be….lounging with the family the entire time. I would prefer to have somebody else there to cook our meals and clean up after us. I don’t want any plans….I just want to do things on a whim!

  • Peeved Michelle

    Honestly, I would like a one-week staycation without my husband or kids so that I can get my damn house organized.

  • melissity

    My ultimate staycation would include wine, a good book, a massage, and sleeping through the night – so I guess that means I also need a nanny for my 3-yr old and 4-wk old boys!

  • twinmomma416

    My ultimate staycation involves reading to, coloring with, and playing “chase” with my kids, going to the park by our house with my kids, a DVR full of Days of Our Lives, Grey’s Anatomy, and Biggest Loser Episodes for the evenings, and not doing my hair or makeup. Oh, and a professional chef in my kitchen and a maid to clean up after everyone!!!

  • mommaonthemountain

    Because I am totally lame this way: sewing and baking are my ideal staycation. I would also be watching the entire series so far of Bones for the upteenth time while doing the sewing and baking. So what I really need is the new xbox to keep my husband and kids out of the way so that I CAN do this. How about you help a gal out and choose me?!

  • Camels and Chocolate

    ooh fun! While as a travel writer by profession, I am adamantly opposed to the term “staycation,” I will say I just returned from Yountville, where I was working on a story, and that place is just perfect if you’re a Californian and want a peaceful weekend away. Stay at the Cottages at Napa Valley, indulge in Thomas Keller’s host of restaurants, and drink your troubles away!

  • Balayne

    My ultimate “staycation” would include my boyfriend, my favorite pj’s, my favorite foods, lots of walking, lots of movies, lots of sleep!

  • schwareid

    Ultimate Staycation:

    Disconnect Blackberry


  • ElsieEllle

    SO cool.

    My ultimate staycation involves my husband, my dog, long walks outside in nice weather and delicious food. And maybe even an XBox someday 🙂

  • jlolb

    Do I have to use the word staycation to win?

    Snowstorm + G&T’s + good movies + warm socks = heaven.

  • hawkmoon269

    Ultimate staycation: plenty of prepared food, alcohol, Diet Coke and snacks to avoid any need to run out for groceries. Hanging out in pajamas with our new puppy in front of the TV, watching classic awesome movies that we already know all the lines from. If we had a fireplace, having a fire going when it’s super cold outside. And lots of cozy blankets.

  • acbug3

    Ultimate staycation = wine, Netflix, time to cross-stitch, teleporting my boyfriend from Maine, and drugging the cats so that they sleep all day.

  • staceygal24

    Glass of Cabernet, no kids, a ton of movies on a cold cold day. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  • Imtryingto

    My ultimate STAYCATION would consist of: My daughter, hubby (or not), my two furbabies. We all would be laying on the couch talking about what we SHOULD be doing with our time off, but say one more hug and one more scratch behind the ears (husband or puppies). Then lean back, grab the remote, Gerber Graduate Puffs and a MilkBone or 6 and watch bad tv with the scent of a yummy flameless candle!

  • monnik

    My ultimate staycation would involve movies and wine and a fire and some chocolate and the kids shipped off to grandmas for the weekend.

  • ChaseNKids

    Cool Giveaway!!! Thanks for sponsoring this.

    Ultimate Staycation for me is eating cookie dough right out of the package in my PJ’s with my four kids, husband and dog watching movies. And/Or watching my kids play Xbox! 😉

  • AmyAndrews

    Ultimate Staycation = anywhere by myself for 4 days and then with my husband and the 4 kiddos for 3.

  • jinkies

    Ultimate staycation? Home for as long as possible with The Girlfriend, The Dog, and The Heavily Stocked Refrigerator. Sorry roommate, you’ve gotta go, we’re having a Big Ghey Staycation.

  • Brookin82

    My ultimate staycation involves a blizzard, a roaring fire, my boyfriend, and some of my favorite movies.

  • tawnyny

    I hate to say this, but my perfect Staycation is vegging on the couch with my laptop and dogs! Heaven

  • sskatherine

    Ultimate “staycation” = My couch, a book and a hot chocolate.

  • gusdiaz

    My ultimate staycation would be watching a good tv show marathon on dvd like Burn Notice, The Closer, or 24, drinking some beer, wine and eating pizza.

  • dhgatsby

    this is an awesome giveaway! my wife wanted a Wii but I bet an Xbox would fulfill her needs. SO we would find common ground with one. you are very sweet to offer these to your readers when we don’t even have to be creative. thanks and happy holidays.

  • traceywil

    My ultimate staycation would involve never having to change out of my pajamas, time on the couch curled under a blanket catching up on DVR shows, lots of baking and time with my husband!

  • m3rb3ar

    Hmmm, how should I answer this? There are so many variations of my ultimate staycation that it will be hard to pick just one. I’ll go with:

    My bed, my husband, a case of good wheat beer, pizza, a really good book, and all 6 seasons of Xena.

  • unice099

    My ultimate Staycation involves:

    -sleeping until 11 am (that’s when ESPN Gameday starts)
    -eating mounds of pancakes, french toast or other sweet breads
    -watching football from 1-11pm, with breaks allowed only for peeing and more food

  • rachelgab

    I’m about to embark on an awesome staycation where I housesit at my sister’s house for 2 weeks. I get to live in a beautiful house on the water in Seattle. Stay in PJ’s in bed and watch movies (they have all the good channels) on the giant flat-screen tv and snuggle with two doggies and a kitty!

  • tamara

    Hmm…my ultimate staycation would be lots of snow on the ground, a fully stocked fridge, a big fluffy blanket, the couch and lots of movies!

  • nevertoomuchfun

    My ultimate staycation…
    My sweetie…
    My jammies…
    My puppy dogs…
    A full DVR…
    Some football…

    All together, spending time snuggled up in a chilly house with a warm fireplace…

  • Nibuca

    My ultimate staycation involves cooking, curling up on the sofa and just getting in some quality snuggle time my my honey and my dogs. It’s a quiet lazy day at home.

  • nimodavis

    Ultimate Staycation: snowed in with family, lots of wine, whiskey, bad sweaters, trivial pursuit, my snuggie, our dogs and hairless cat, chocolate and the movie Roadhouse playing in the background.

  • Anna Marie

    Wine, books, take-out, more wine. The perfect staycation.

  • CharmCity

    My Ultimate Staycation:

    -Lounging in PJs all morning
    -Brunch at our favorite place
    -A local museum I always say I want to visit but never do
    -Strolling the local avenue with my DH, doing some shopping for unique items
    -Walking in the park
    -A massage
    -Thai or Indian or Sushi or MD Blue Crabs
    -A Bottle of Red Wine, preferably Cakebread Zinfandel
    -Creme Brulee

  • kellyawake

    My ultimate staycation would involve sleeping in everyday, reading tons of good books, watching movies that I’ve missed, cuddling with my hot man, cooking together (definitely making some fondue….gotta get my carbs on a staycation!!) and laughing lots 🙂 Thank you for the chance to win – we’d have all kinds of fun with an xBox!

  • casiep

    Curled up in bed watching Maury (preferably a fat baby or paternity episode) and eating pizza while surfing the web.

  • galphoto

    My ultimate staycation would include some great dinners out at restaurants only foodies talk about (just cuz I never get to enjoy them in “normal” time) and some quality time with my hubby to watch movies…

    Yay Xbox. 🙂

  • Small Town Mommy

    Our ultimate staycation usually involves being snowed in. All commitments get canceled and we aren’t able to run any errands. We spend the day at home, watching movies and playing games in front of the fire.

  • tdobson

    My perfect staycation is a marathon of cops and a white chocolate mocha latte. It wouldn’t hurt if I had half a dozen Banbury Cross donuts either.. *drool* doooonuts…

  • third924

    Perfect staycation: No alarm. Everything else is gravy.

  • judi_cutrone

    My ultimate staycation involves a full day of TiVo-selected programming, a pound cake that I will NOT eat all by myself (yes I will) and my dog.

  • follyk

    This last weekend was my perfect “staycation”. Watched movies and occasionally napped on the couch with my hubby, with the warmth of the fire in the woodstove. Perfection!!

  • universalchampion

    omg, xbox. my ultimate staycation: naps, fresh books from book court, stumptown coffee, my cat being well behaved and the ultimate snuggle buddy, friends dropping by later in the day for snacks, baking, huge take out orders of soul food from the place down the block, and–duh–video games. cheers, c

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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