Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

Currently working on…

Tomorrow morning I’m hosting the keynote breakfast at the Altitude Design Summit here in Salt Lake City where I will be sharing the stage with people I consider to be visionary superstars: Jean Aw of NotCot, Grace Bonney of Design*Sponge, and Maxwell Gillingham-Ryan of Apartment Therapy. You’re probably wondering why a mommyblogger is anywhere within a hundred miles of that stage, and I bet they will, too, once I finish the forty-slide presentation I’ve prepared on how to apply healing balm to cracked nipples. The packaging on that stuff is HOTT.

That’s where I’ve been today, cramming all the final details into that presentation, just like always putting it off until the deadline looms over me like a piano falling out of the sky. It’s a skill I perfected in high school when I would do homework for one class while sitting in the one directly before it, and then in college I would shove a semester’s worth of data into my brain just minutes before a test. I had a psychiatrist once tell me that this is a definitive sign that I have adult ADD, and then he prescribed me Adderall which is basically speed in prescription form. And the next day I was all THIS FEELING CAN’T BE LEGAL, and the psychiatrist was all, no, that’s called feeling normal! And I was all NO. I have just built a pyramid out of sugar cubes that is in exact scale to the ones in Egypt because I have already cleaned the house, washed the car, mowed the lawn, and wallpapered the bathroom. AND IT’S NOT EVEN 8AM.

Needless to say, I got a different doctor. Except if you follow the line of thinking in this post you’re probably going, um, Heather, maybe he was on to something.

No Comments

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.