the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Observations on in-laws

Me: I thought you understood going into this that we’re a glass half empty kind of family.

Jon. No, no, no, no, no.

Me: Why are you shaking your head like that?

Jon: Because I did think you guys were glass half empty people, when in reality all of you are THE GLASS IS TOTALLY EMPTY people.

Me: I see your point, but when the glass really is empty we aren’t disappointed. We’re like, see? We like to be right.

Jon: And then the longer I know all of you I realize that if you even talk about the glass, the glass will explode.

Me: Which is why I’m protectively covering my head while having this conversation with you.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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