the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Requires use of a cowboy hat

Is this not the most obnoxious thing you’ve ever seen? This sits in the middle of the master bathroom. And I have used it every single day we have lived in this house. I’ve never been so thoroughly bathed in my life, although for several hours afterward I speak in my incoherent Southern accent and talk about them territories we done got to conquer on horseback.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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