the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Back porch, an August afternoon

The apricots are here! The apricots are here! Literally, hundreds of millions of them. I have no idea what the hell we’re going to do with all of them except try to pawn them off on family and neighbors and maybe add some killer fiber to our diets. Here’s where the Mormon in me is supposed to know how to can or make jam, but that Mormon in me died the first time I saw Pulp Fiction and was like AWESOME.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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