Our Lady of Perpetual Depression

Office remodel, episode one

Welcome to the first installment of Jon Got A Whole Bunch of New Toys. We’re filming the office remodel in addition to what I’m writing about it, and you have to keep in mind that all the madness that we thought would end by buying this new house has sort of tripled. While filming this one of the dogs went missing. That’s another post entirely because later that day the other dog went missing as well. Let’s just say that soon after, I cheated and ignored the prescribed dosage on my Valium.

Also, Jon refused to add this to the video, but at the end I was trying to avoid having my shirt rub up against the microphone taped to my chest, and as a result I have a really bad case of Crooked Bosom.

COMING SOON TO YOUR NIGHTMARES!

He stayed up into the wee wee hours of the night putting this together, and I’m again reminded of how lucky I am to have married a man with so much skill and talent and an endless repository of knowledge, some very useful, some I pretend to be interested in because it’s cute when he talks so much.

Click here if you are having trouble viewing the video. (Give it a moment to load before you click this link!)

97 Comments
  • G.G.R

    2010/08/17 at 7:58 am

    Aww. Chuck butt. You have a beautiful house that is ridiculously beautiful.

  • alexiso

    2010/08/17 at 8:01 am

    For that first nook you pointed out, maybe you could put an office water cooler there? With the litter triangular cups?

  • kristanhoffman

    2010/08/17 at 8:13 am

    LOL. Great video! My fave parts were using Marlo as a pointer, Coco’s guest appearance, and Elaine Benes doing the Roger Rabbit. 🙂 And yeah, the wireless mic makes a huge difference.

  • utahbeach

    2010/08/17 at 8:17 am

    Pls. feature Tyrant in the next video. Your stories about his humor and strictness must be displayed visually too.

  • JennfromCanada

    2010/08/17 at 8:20 am

    Love the part where the video stops and the message that the mic didn’t work the whole time. Laughed out loud! Thanks for a good laugh this morning.

  • Lunaticinthehouse

    2010/08/17 at 8:21 am

    Every time I see that awkward narrow nook with the dormer window, I picture a low built in window seat (open underneath for stashing things) with lots of pillows. It’s totally kid sized– a perfect place for sisters to read, and chew, their books…

    Love the new place!

  • TexasKatie

    2010/08/17 at 8:23 am

    I love how Chuck just stood there under the desk, as if to say “Get. the. CAMERA. OFF. OF. MEEEEEEEEE!”

    This video was great – especially the Elaine Benis Roger Rabbit move you did. The more I see of you on video, the more I am like “Holy crap, there is another woman as tall and lanky and skinny as me!” And as awkward at dancing, apparently. 😉

    Looking forward to the videos! Love the house!

  • teksupddg

    2010/08/17 at 8:24 am

    has the internets ever reserved judgement?

  • ecileh

    2010/08/17 at 8:24 am

    Sometime during the course of the epic film, could you please explain what that copper-looking bar hanging from the ceiling is?

    Because right now, I am imagining it to be a trapeze of the sort that good Mormons would never admit to owning, let alone document on film.

  • ChickWhitt

    2010/08/17 at 8:30 am

    I’m so jealous of you right now.

    Verizon, I’d love to say your name repeatedly to get a new space to decorate, Verizon! I have always been a happy customer, Verizon! Verizon, you rock!

  • JennyP

    2010/08/17 at 8:35 am

    Love it – what a cool space! But most importantly, your hair looks fabulous.

  • paigeturner

    2010/08/17 at 8:36 am

    You’re a great writer but you were absolutely made for tv. More videos please!

  • paul1316

    2010/08/17 at 8:42 am

    As the ‘Jon’ of my house I cannot wait for the ‘network’ video. Please use 70’s style pron music in the background.

  • The Dalai Mama

    2010/08/17 at 8:44 am

    Jealous–my office is a little attic addition. Can’t wait to see how it looks through the process and at the end! Looking forward to reading the missing dog posts.

  • tokenblogger

    2010/08/17 at 9:09 am

    So I’m thinking “what did Heather need a mic for?” And then that little bit came up and I truly LOL’d!

  • the grumbles

    2010/08/17 at 9:10 am

    i opened this up and was all, “oh BOO, it’s a video” …and then it was actually really enjoyable. you’re cute.

  • Schnauzie_Mom

    2010/08/17 at 9:21 am

    Umm who did that sexy voice-over? Because YUM!

    Also? I desperately wanted to fix your boobs in that yellow shirt. It was a cute top though:-)

  • Just Jill

    2010/08/17 at 9:21 am

    I was too distracted by your bosom issues to pay close full attention.

    Loved the Erik Estrada cameo, and you look absolutely stunning; crazy running man-Elaine Benes-Roger Rabbit dance and all…

  • msnorway

    2010/08/17 at 9:24 am

    What a great video! Thanks a lot for sharing 🙂

  • filmlady

    2010/08/17 at 9:24 am

    Holy crrrrap, what an office space! For those little nooks, add some fencing across the front. Put chickens in one nook (Rhode Island Reds rule) and a rooster in the other. What more could you want?

  • Bluestalking

    2010/08/17 at 9:25 am

    Heather, please, please, please!! Where did you get that painting behind you? I NEED THAT.

    P.S.: VERIZON VERIZON VERIZON VERIZON

  • CanadianGirl

    2010/08/17 at 9:27 am

    Sorry, I can’t watch the video yet because I’m totally freaked out over “…one of the dogs went missing. That’s another post entirely because later that day the other dog went missing as well.” Did you find them? Please at least post that much so I know if I have to book a flight to join in the search…

  • Norabloom

    2010/08/17 at 9:32 am

    Loved the video, especially the fact that it wasn’t all slick and professional (sorry, Jon).

    Jumping off from alexiso’s suggestion, I think that strange nook would be the perfect coffee station. I mean, you’re up on the third floor, right, far away from the kitchen? I’d put in a coffee bar and a mini fridge for cold drinks.

  • tallnoe

    2010/08/17 at 9:37 am

    Fun video for 8.30am. LOVED the Roger Rabbit dance. Wondering if I look like that when I attempt it. Ummmm… you won’t get video to verify.

  • Bluestalking

    2010/08/17 at 9:38 am

    Strange nook = bookcase(s)

    Signed,
    The Librarian

    P.S.: BUT WHAT ABOUT THAT PAINTING?!?!?!

  • addie877

    2010/08/17 at 9:57 am

    Am I the only one who heard Jon breathing hard and heavy when you were talking about the wire mess behind the computer? Funniest part ever.
    Very well done guys and fun to watch!

  • Norabloom

    2010/08/17 at 9:58 am

    Heather has posted about the painting previously:

    https://www.dooce.com/daily-style/2008/02/29/abstract-acrylic-painting

  • srising

    2010/08/17 at 10:01 am

    That was just really funny. I liked it for other reasons too, but mainly for the funny. 🙂

  • kariberi

    2010/08/17 at 10:06 am

    Awesome. Thank you for the morning chuckle, I needed it! Calm. Blue. Ocean. 🙂

  • petit hiboux

    2010/08/17 at 10:06 am

    That was hilarious. I often like to interrupt my furniture assembly with dance moves, too.

  • LisaM

    2010/08/17 at 10:24 am

    Love the blue shirt! Where is it from?

  • austinmomof7

    2010/08/17 at 10:26 am

    That’s nice how you kiss up a little bit after he does what you ask. It’s a great example of positive reinforcement. I use it with my kids all the time. Except they are smarter than the husband and have figured out my trick.

  • Mama Ark

    2010/08/17 at 10:29 am

    I volunteer my husband to help. He has serious electrical cord OCD. So much so that when I thought I was in labour with my second babe he made me wait 2 hours while he fixed up the cords after putting in a new cable box.

    PS That dancing is almost as fun as jazz hands!

  • missusclark

    2010/08/17 at 10:30 am

    What a marvelous space! Oh, the geekiness that could happen in such a space. Jon must be in heaven.

    Also? While watching the video, one of my 5-year-old twins wandered over to see what was what. Claire watched, enraptured to the very end, and then asked, “Mama, can we go over to Marlo’s house?!”

  • misszoot

    2010/08/17 at 10:49 am

    That was just as much an episode about the challenges of Working At Home With Children as it was about an office remodel. Hysterical. Love it.

  • JenJ

    2010/08/17 at 10:57 am

    Sorry to disappoint you, but you’re doing the Running Man, not the Roger Rabbit

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpZRPCZfz_E

  • jon

    2010/08/17 at 11:01 am

    These are not meant to be network TV ready quality wise. But better than what we’ve done in the past. Just inching the bar up a bit.

    One late night after another. 😉

  • Groovymarlin

    2010/08/17 at 11:06 am

    Wow, Heather. Your hair looks so cute! I’m loving the blond pixie vibe!

    P.S. I am also dying to know what’s up with that copper pipe/hanger/trapeze thing.

  • KathyRo

    2010/08/17 at 11:17 am

    “Please reserve your judgment.” Aha ha ha! You know that’s not happening! Ha ha ha… stop, you’re killing me…

    Seriously though I thought you looked SO PRETTY in this video. Great hair and makeup and I love the necklace.

  • catslye

    2010/08/17 at 11:23 am

    Love it. More dancing please! 🙂

  • Norabloom

    2010/08/17 at 11:37 am

    @Jon, I actually liked the fact that the clip wasn’t network television ready. It felt like more of a glimpse into your private, every day lives.

  • Sneeka

    2010/08/17 at 11:51 am

    Great video! Loving the “Roger Rabbit” which looked more like the “running man” to me and the “Elaine”. Looking forward to how you fix the wire issue – cause that is major writer’s block.

    Verizon!
    Verizon!!
    Verizon!!!

  • labsnabys

    2010/08/17 at 11:53 am

    I have to admit, you guys are pretty darn cute.

  • beeaunka

    2010/08/17 at 12:07 pm

    Have you seen these desks?

    http://www.bdiusa.com/office/sequel-desks.shtml

    They have panels that hide the wires.

  • naugfly

    2010/08/17 at 12:16 pm

    I work that same move where the baby is balanced, facing outward on one hip and one arm, pretty much all day long. Helps keep her from bathing in the dog’s water bowl and destroying any iPods or phones I have left around.

    Looking forward to your solution for the rat’s nest of wires as I hate that sh*t in my house. And loved the makeup!

  • Kristen from MA

    2010/08/17 at 12:28 pm

    Holy crap, the dogs went missing? What the hell woman? You can’t just throw that out there and not offer reassurances! I am going to assume that all is well (man, my heart skipped a beat!).

    I am looking forward to your cable solution, as I am having trouble with a tangle of cords myself. It’s so ugly!

  • ChrisB

    2010/08/17 at 12:31 pm

    The dancing is a nice touch!

  • Lisa Dickie

    2010/08/17 at 12:33 pm

    Love the video, love the office! Our houses couldn’t be any different yet I love the common threads of baby getting into everything, wires amuck and Elaine dancing (my husband knows it makes me smile everytime, it’s just as funny when you do it).

  • Rebecca from Texas

    2010/08/17 at 12:54 pm

    Bwahahahahaha! Y’all are so hilarious!

    Love from Texas

  • smithie1996

    2010/08/17 at 1:00 pm

    I am not sure what made me laugh more: the dog video from yesterday or your hilarious Marlo-as-a-pointer/$ Verizon signs/calm blue ocean/network description editorial. Oh hell, the whole thing was awesome and gave me a much needed break from Thomas the Train, which my kid has magically overnight become addicted to.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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