the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Kids are so weird

Give Marlo a tube of lip balm and she will eat that thing in less than two minutes, saving just a tiny bit to rub all over her face so that it shines. So I don’t ever give her lip balm. But when we were at my mother’s cabin recently, I turned around and there she was eating a tube of lip balm. And I’m like, WHO DID THIS? And my mother cowered and mumbled, “But she asked for it so nicely.”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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