the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Why his nickname is Turd

Yesterday Tyrant sautéed some mushrooms to go along with our lunch, and yes, they were delicious. HOWEVER. When he said he added just a tiny bit of butter to the pan, I thought, hmm. A tiny bit isn’t so bad. But when I checked the butter supply last night… DUDE USED LIKE 15 OUNCES OF BUTTER.

I texted him last night and was all, YOU LIAR.

He responded with this picture and said, “This is my low calorie dinner for tonight!”

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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