Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

Why his nickname is Turd

Yesterday Tyrant sautéed some mushrooms to go along with our lunch, and yes, they were delicious. HOWEVER. When he said he added just a tiny bit of butter to the pan, I thought, hmm. A tiny bit isn’t so bad. But when I checked the butter supply last night… DUDE USED LIKE 15 OUNCES OF BUTTER.

I texted him last night and was all, YOU LIAR.

He responded with this picture and said, “This is my low calorie dinner for tonight!”

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