Why his nickname is Turd

Yesterday Tyrant sautéed some mushrooms to go along with our lunch, and yes, they were delicious. HOWEVER. When he said he added just a tiny bit of butter to the pan, I thought, hmm. A tiny bit isn’t so bad. But when I checked the butter supply last night… DUDE USED LIKE 15 OUNCES OF BUTTER.

I texted him last night and was all, YOU LIAR.

He responded with this picture and said, “This is my low calorie dinner for tonight!”