the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Going Boom

The time has come at last, after several months of furious preparation and sleepless nights and waiting, waiting, waiting for the delivery truck to arrive, to show you the newest addition to our home. Sadly, it is not a coop full of chickens. WHICH REMINDS ME. You guys! Kate found out that Vivien? The lovely Vivien? IS ACTUALLY A VICTOR.

Vivien/Victor

(Wah, wahhhh)

I do not know what she’s going to do with him, build him a separate coop to keep him from knocking up the hens? Because that doesn’t solve the problem of the cock-a-doodle-dooing at six in the morning. If my neighbor had that going on I might accidentally lift Coco over the fence and let nature happen.

(By the way, if anyone is looking for a very handsome rooster and promises to keep him safe and warm, shoot me an email. Victor needs a home.)

No, it’s not chickens. It’s not even an animal, although I have given much consideration to what kind of animal I’d like to adopt next: a pig. An indoor pig. He’d wear a bow tie and sleep in our bed.

(Shhh! Jon doesn’t know about my pig idea yet. Maybe I’ll get him one for Christmas!)

It’s our living room. Before you roll your eyes, you have to understand that we’ve been working on this project for months and months, trying to make it just right. Once we finally got everything into place I realized that this is the most incredible room I’ve ever lived in. It is my personality splashed all over a living space, especially the all-caps part.

I plan to follow up with a post that features pictures and a bit more detail. But for now just sit back and enjoy the BOOM:

(If you can’t see the video above, click here to watch it)

Many thanks to the lovely folks at DIGS who made this all possible. They were a dream to work with.

Also, standing ovation, ABChao. STANDING OVATION.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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