An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

The Good Kind

I mentioned here about a month ago that we were having our entire roof replaced. The inspectors we hired when buying the house told us we could get another good two years out of the beast, but when you’re living underneath a 25-year-old roof that is more flammable than gasoline and a fire breaks out on the hill not two hundred yards from your house? And one morning you wake up to find your miniature Australian Shepherd running around the yard with a piece of the roof in her mouth?

You have to somehow find it in yourself not to puke when the estimates start rolling in.

Let’s just say that this was our creative way of living through it:

  • Becky Cochrane

    HA HA HA HA. Funny videos are the best revenge.

  • bucky4eyes

    Cocktail shingles. Let me fetch my smoking jacket.

    The white gloves really tie the whole outfit together.

  • xmyrin

    lolol I love it!!

  • liefie

    Yeah, not gonna lie, the first SHINGLES! clip kinda freaked me out… hopefully I don’t have nightmares about demonic Heather coming to eat me in my sleep! Also, you’re much hotter as a blonde 🙂

    Congrats on the new, not-quite-so-flammable roof!

  • slappyintheface

    Oh I get it … SHINGLES! Love the dress!

  • LillyO

    I just PEE’D a little laughing so hard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • edgyveggie

    wow, new shingles look way gorgeous. I would have a cocktail party on your roof any day.

    Shingles advice (the not so fun kind): I got shingles my freshman year of college, and every six months or so after, I’ve had a recurring breakout on my face… even though my first breakout was on my back and side. Then this summer, between planning a wedding and preparing for senior year of college, I had a breakout with every menstrual cycle. Sooooo, I got myself a nifty prescription for some anti-viral meds to take everytime I start to get the itchy burning feeling of an outbreak. Of SHINGLES!!! I advise anyone who’s had the Shingles!! to get themselves a prescription STAT so you can kick an outbreak in the nuts when it rears its ugly head.

  • Beelzebob

    How high were you?

  • Daisee

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is so funny! You remind me of Bewitched! (circa 1964-1972)Didn’t Samantha have an evil sister that looked like this?!

  • jayfid

    Oooh…I want Shingles now. Wait…how did you DO that?

  • Sydney

    I don’t normally comment but I feel compelled. That was brilliant!

  • harugirlie

    awesome video! I got shingles at the tail end of my honeymoon. IT WAS AWESOME!

    Your arms look fab btw!

  • jaimedwight

    LOVE this! Hilarious.

  • Rebecca from Texas

    OMG this is so effing great.

  • Mme Wong

    Wow! Oh, thank you for this, it made my afternoon 🙂

  • dianemaggipintovoiceover

    several years ago, i paid 17k for a new roof (1600 sq ft house) plus all the other shit it needed since it had the original roof on it … (103 years of shingles and linoleum and newspaper).
    i make damn sure any visitor admires the beauty that is my roof.
    yours looks spectacular! along with your shoulders …. 😉

  • playrawkstar

    hilarious! btw – your arms are looking serious ripped – hurrah for healthy, active living!

  • willL

    This was funny for obvious reasons…but really was more funny b/c I was wondering what the neighboors must think of you’d.
    I’d love it if I had a neighboor doing unexplainable things like this all the time!

  • kristanhoffman

    ROFL! I did NOT see that coming.

  • tokenblogger

    I see you came up with a way of showing off a very important purchase.

    Where were you when I had to pay too damn many $$$$ for a roof?

    Getting a new roof used to be kinda like getting new tires. You spend a lot of money, but you don’t get to show off anything for it.

    Showing off a new roof will never be the same.

    You looked great as “Serena,” too!


  • Zannah

    Brilliant! How’d you get Reese Witherspoon to stand on your roof? 🙂 Honestly, it’s a little crazy how you much you look like her with that much hair on your head.

    I love it!

  • Lex Lemon

    Stay classy!

  • k8y

    Awesome! Love it, so much. Having also dropped an assload of cash on home improvements recently, I have to say had I thought of videotaping it in a fabulous dress and showcasing it this way, I would have. Makes total sense.

    You rock, as usual.

  • curlsz

    did NOT see that coming – nor did my co workers that just yelled “what ARE you listening to” – shingles ok?

  • Shea

    Thank you. This was awesome.

  • Lauren3


    I guffawed over the original shingles video
    I cackled over the pregnant redneck photos

    Dude, you guys are really getting the hang of this video editing stuff too.

  • jpshenson

    First – I love the picture of Marlo in the blanket I gave her when you were in Denver.

    Second – I got shingles like 3 weeks after you did and it was horrible – horrible!

    Third – We also got a new roof this year – however ours was a result of hail damage and it was FREE!! If you don’t count how much money we have paid the insurance company over the last 12 years.

    The video is AWESOME!

  • preppypitbull

    Hilarious. That’s the hardest I’ve laughed in a long time. LOVE the dress too by the way. You look fab 🙂

  • KatJMoll

    Well, that was just great! More Please!
    and also: those are some buff shoulders!

  • Ruthinks

    So AWESOME!!!! The best new roof celebration I’ve ever seen!!!
    Were you lucky enough to be at home for the hammering in of the new nails for the new Shingles ceremony?

  • sgigs

    Holy crap woman that’s funny.

  • BellyGirl

    I have a strong suspicion that “only a little crazy” Cami styled you for this shoot.

  • sarahdoow

    So good. Thank you for the laugh.

  • Fifi Coon

    Loved the video – I want your arms!!! Beautiful!

  • lueread

    You just reached an entirely new level of awesome with this video!

  • bzunder

    That was HILARIOUS. Thanks for the laugh! (and congrats on the new, improved shingles)

  • francabollo

    Well done (rump roast). I’m sorry … I couldn’t resist.

  • Adrasteia

    This was fucking hilarious. Also, when did your facial structure start looking almost exactly like Reese Witherspoon’s? Maybe it’s the hair? I don’t know, but I was watching that and chortling when it dawned on me that you guys have almost the same jawline. I hope that brightens your day.

  • JenHalo

    I just about pissed myself watching that video.

  • anniavee

    On the floor.

    I bet you/Jon had a blast making sparks shoot out of your gloved hands in post!

  • paulawebb

    Ok, I think i just wet the couch

  • KatieKat484

    Holy friggin crap. That was friggin amazing. Just like your arms.
    I loved Jon in the video. What a patient man;)

  • booner32


  • lisdom


  • ambermentz

    Mother of pearl…best Dooce post EVER.

  • agirlandaboy

    Oh man. Well done. *slow clap*

  • mybottlesup

    so. damn. funny.

  • PShizzo

    You are so weird.

  • musickatt

    Okay, hilarious video, but more importantly: DAMN, WOMAN!! LOOK AT THOSE ARM MUSCLES YOU DONE WENT AND GOT!!!! I am JEALOUS!

  • Sarah McDougall

    That was THE funniest thing I’ve seen today. I can so relate. I’ve had shingles and our house needs new shingles but I’ve never made the connection. Precious! What editing program is Jon using? His videos make me want to get into film making.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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