the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Hair, day eight

Last week I went to the dentist and was paired with a new hygienist. As she draped the bib around my neck she said, “I absolutely love your haircut!”

“Wow, thanks!” I said. “I’m growing it out, actually. This is the in-between stage.”

Without any sarcasm she made a weird face and said, “Well then, I take it back.”

I wondered throughout the entire cleaning if the proper response was to bite her hands.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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