My friend Kate sent me an email last week and suggested we make a Shit Non Mormons Say When Living in Utah video. If either of us had the time to do so, it would sound a lot like this (almost all of these are her suggestions):
“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”
“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”
“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”
…
Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on Election Day, mumbling : “I moved here to ski.”
Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on Sunday, mumbling: “I moved here to ski.”
Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on any obscure holiday, mumbling: “I moved here to ski.”
…
“I haven’t skied in sooooooo long.”
…
“You get used to the politics.”
“Just ignore the politics.”
“UGH! WHO VOTES FOR THESE POEPLE?!”
“You can’t ignore the politics.”
“You won’t ever get used to the politics.”
…
“Orrin Hatch? You mean Oral Snatch?”
…
“Sundance is SO awesome.”
“I hate Sundance.”
…
“Oh! There’s Robert Redford!”
…
“REI.”
“REI?”
“REI.”
…
“Which Subaru Outback is yours?”
…
“You can always go to Park City if you want to get away.”
“I haven’t been to Park City in sooooooo long.”
“Park City just wants to be LA.”
“What a shit hole.”
…
“Alta.”
“Snowbird.”
“Alta.”
“Brighton.”
“Alta.”
“Solitude.”
“Alta.”
“Powder Mountain.”
“ALTA.”
…
“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”
Feel free to add anything we missed. Also, someone please film this.