Playful, elegant, and not above the judicious use of the word “shit."

“Go on Sunday morning. There aren’t any lines.”

My friend Kate sent me an email last week and suggested we make a Shit Non Mormons Say When Living in Utah video. If either of us had the time to do so, it would sound a lot like this (almost all of these are her suggestions):

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on Election Day, mumbling : “I moved here to ski.”

Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on Sunday, mumbling: “I moved here to ski.”

Non Mormon trying to buy alcohol on any obscure holiday, mumbling: “I moved here to ski.”

“I haven’t skied in sooooooo long.”

“You get used to the politics.”

“Just ignore the politics.”

“UGH! WHO VOTES FOR THESE POEPLE?!”

“You can’t ignore the politics.”

“You won’t ever get used to the politics.”

“Orrin Hatch? You mean Oral Snatch?

“Sundance is SO awesome.”

“I hate Sundance.”

“Oh! There’s Robert Redford!”

“REI.”

“REI?”

“REI.”

“Which Subaru Outback is yours?”

“You can always go to Park City if you want to get away.”

“I haven’t been to Park City in sooooooo long.”

“Park City just wants to be LA.”

“What a shit hole.”

“Alta.”

“Snowbird.”

“Alta.”

“Brighton.”

“Alta.”

“Solitude.”

“Alta.”

“Powder Mountain.”

“ALTA.”

“Yes, you can buy alcohol here.”

Feel free to add anything we missed. Also, someone please film this.

  • Alta_Gal

    ALTA!!!! (Obviously) Hahaha.

  • JuliaA

    my friend was just in utah for a trip. her comment: everybody is SO WHITE.

  • famisamis

    In linguistics, there is a term for a sound that is noticeably NOT pronounced when someone is speaking. It’s called a glottal stop. Lots of young Mormon gals like to use that instead of the ‘t’ sound at the end of words. With that said, please enter the following statement into the catalog of shit mormons say.

    “Oh my heck. The spiri_’ was sooo strong you could reach ou_’ and grab i_’.