the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Popcorn popped

This weekend I cleaned off the back porch: I washed cushions, scrubbed the grill, swept out grass and debris, and washed chalk drawings off of the pavement. Then I went full Mormon and cut some flowers off of a tree to make it seem more homey (watching out for rattlesnakes the whole time, of course). And wow. I just used the word HOMEY on this website. Feel free to poke me in the eye with a dirty finger.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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