the smell of my desperation has become a stench

My little not helper

I won’t go into the laborious details of why there are huge dry patches in the backyard and whose fault it is because I’m trying very hard to be a good neighbor. I don’t leave Coco out to bark all day, I don’t host loud parties, and I certainly don’t accidentally cut people’s sprinkler lines and then pretend it didn’t happen OH MY GOD.

I had to break out the hose this weekend because the sprinkler company couldn’t make it out until yesterday, and what should have taken about half an hour turned into two hours of NO, OVER THERE, MARLO. OVER THERE. OVER THERE!

There is one spot she watered that is STILL wet three days later.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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