It should be noted that the Def Leppard guitar player Phil Collen was shirtless the whole time and so was I and I’m pretty sure he saw me and made a gesture to the singer Joe Elliott like “Check that dude out in Section B, Row 7- he is owning this fucking place.” And I was. Ask anyone.
– humanæ: A collection of portraits where the subject is set against a background the PANTONE color of their skin.
– I just started watching “Downton Abbey” (WHERE THE HELL HAVE I BEEN) so this is pretty awesome.
– Don’t lie, you’ve done this exact thing (wait for it).
The world is full of terrible things, including rape, and it is okay to joke about them. But the best comics use their art to call bullshit on those terrible parts of life and make them better, not worse. The key—unless you want to be called a garbage-flavored dick on the internet by me and other humans with souls and brains—is to be a responsible person when you construct your jokes.
– A few of my favorite recent tweets:
I would totally watch a show that's just hidden cam footage of people stuck driving behind grandmas.
— Brett Ryland (@brettryland) July 12, 2012
Have you ever cared so much it squeaked?
— jay (@JayUhOh) July 10, 2012
I just encountered a spider bigger than my desire to be the man of the house.
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) July 7, 2012
We don't need anymore paintings of bridges. Everybody stop.
— Artie Johann (@DearAnyone) July 3, 2012
A dude at the bar calls me a gaytard, this other girl just told me to kill myself… this is my LAST Youtube commenters meet-up!
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) July 9, 2012
Grandma doesn't like airplane rides anymore since I tripped and dropped her last time.
— matt tuff (@matttuff) July 3, 2012
My new social network for lisping christians is going to be called Faithbook.
— Damn Dirty Ape (@Zaius13) July 2, 2012