the smell of my desperation has become a stench


I don’t know where Marlo go this necklace, but when she saw me draping it over Chuck’s head she was about to make a fuss but then changed her mind.

“He’ths a KEEN!” she squealed.

“A king?” I asked.


And I decided right then that if anyone comes along and tries to fix that lisp I will have to find somewhere to hide the body.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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