the smell of my desperation has become a stench

The herd

I’ve seen as many as eight of these guys leisurely walking around the neighborhood like, sup? Want some berries? Got any weed?

Every year they seem to become a little less afraid. Sure, they’ll scatter if you make any sudden movements, but the other day I was heading out to run errands and one walked out in front of my car, stopped and acted like he was daring me to hit him. And I was like, dude, the most I would ever do to you is hop out of this car and nuzzle the shit out of you. Calm down.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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