An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

Sleep companions

Sometimes in the shuffle between here and Jon’s place we both forget to pack certain essentials for the girls, and the most devastating brain blip is when Marlo’s puppy doesn’t make it into the bag. Dear lord, that puppy. There’s this moment when I’m getting her ready for bed and I realize her puppy is no where to be found and oh, the scrambling. We’ve got a ton of back up animals, some of them included here, and sometimes they work. Sometimes they don’t. You know what I’m talking about right? Except you’re smarter than I am and have bought a few puppies in case one goes missing. That should be written on a form they give you when you leave the hospital with your baby: BUY TWO OF EVERYTHING, DUMMY.

1. Cuddlesome fox $24

2. Jellycat Bashful Monkey $18.75

3. Cordy Roys Orange Aardvark $24

4. Stripes The Long Earred Bunny $24.49

5. Plush stuffed dolphin $10.99

6. Bashful Beige Bunny Medium $18.75

7. Fox with hat $35

8. Paul Frank Julius Knitted Monkey $6.99

9. Badger with vest $35

10. Cuddlesome squirrel $24

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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