the smell of my desperation has become a stench

An uncle and his nephew

Last night my mother gathered the whole family at my house to have a cake and ice cream party for Leta’s birthday. That’s my brother Ranger on the left, and on the right is my sister’s oldest son Britton. He’s fourteen? Right? It think? I mean, I was in the room when he was born. I should know these things except all this heroin I’m doing is giving me memory loss. Oh! Funny story… my mother was out of the country on business and I was on the phone with her as my sister September was in labor with Britton. The monitor strapped to her abdomen suddenly slipped off and a huge BUZZZZZ filled the room. My mom was like, what’s that? And I was all, oh. Nothing. September just stopped breathing. My mom was not amused! Can you even believe that! Get a sense of humor, MOM.

Britton is now as tall as Ranger who has always been the tallest person in the family. Soon Britton will be the new standard. Good work, son. Not an easy task, ALL THAT GROWING.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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