the smell of my desperation has become a stench

From inside the arch

No, I am by no means a professional photographer. But if I took a look at the thousands of shots I’ve taken over the last decade I’d say I’m much better at photographing people than I am landscapes. In fact, I have a really hard time capturing anything outside. It’s a struggle, a challenge I’m sometimes not up to. Even in a place as beautiful as Arches National Park I had to fill a 16-gig card to get a few good shots. So I’m moving “learn to take better shots of nature” toward the top of my bucket list. It’s now just behind “learn how to fart the alphabet in Italian.”

Side note: as we entered Arches Dane said that every time he visits the park with his mom she can’t stop giggling at how many of the rock formations look like penises, and he said it like that behavior was somehow lame and immature, or something. And I was like, listen. We don’t have that body part. We are not sensitized to seeing that shape just dangling there every day. Seeing something that looks like that shooting up out of the ground? You better believe we are going to laugh at that.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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