Best way to roast the broomstick. Must try. Five Stars.

Dose of protein

Recently Marlo has been asking for scrambled eggs for almost every meal. Let me just say that again: scrambled eggs. A food with a HUE.

Normal kids are so weird.

On Saturday night she had four. This was after having four for lunch. So I texted my friend Kate and said, dude. I really hope your chickens are productive this season otherwise I’m going to use Marlo’s college fund on eggs. Also? Normal kids are totally underrated!

This reminds me: I didn’t eat scrambled eggs until maybe middle school and even then I would only eat them if they were drowning in ketchup. We were on vacation up in Kentucky visiting my mother’s side of the family, and one morning my mother made me a plate of scrambled eggs with the correct amount of ketchup. My late Uncle Bill took one look at it, shook his head, and after spitting a wad a chewing tobacco into a styrofoam cup he proclaimed, “That there reminds me of a menstruating chicken.”

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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