the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Those small, simple delights of parenthood

Marlo’s preschool class made “hanukiahs” this week to learn about Jewish traditions this time of year, and last night after dinner I told her we could set it up. I read the instructions that were sent home with this, including the part about lighting all the other candles with the the middle candle, or the “shamash.” None of that mattered, though, because she just shoved all the candles into the holes that had been drilled into the branch in no order whatsoever. After they had all been lit she started singing happy birthday.

To herself.

And then she blew out the candles.

At some point she should probably learn that not even Jesus Christ’s birthday is a part of this tradition.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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