the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Sans les lunettes

Sometimes I will post a photo of Marlo without her glasses on, either here or on Instagram, and invariably someone will ask, “Where are Marlo’s glasses?” Every time I want to respond, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

She’s so sneaky about slinking away when I’m not looking and taking them off somewhere, yet she’s not caught on to the fact that she needs to hide them better if she doesn’t want me to find them. Oh, the time I have spent searching for them, locating them on the bathroom counter, on the back of the toilet, once inside the refrigerator.

This is a photo of her a few minutes before we left for school. I wait until we are walking out the door to make her put them on because otherwise she’ll take them off somewhere and they’ll both be late to school because I have to conduct another hunt. God help me when she discovers a good hiding place.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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