the smell of my desperation has become a stench

Working on her technique

Marlo’s ballet class is only 45 minutes long, but I forgot that four-year-olds have a terrible grasp of time. 45 minutes to her is the equivalent of 2 years. The teacher probably needs to do a better job of maintaining their attention and keeping them corralled because about thirty minutes into the class half of the girls start wandering aimlessly around the room or, you know, inspecting the hardwood floors. Not unsanitary at all.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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