the smell of my desperation has become a stench


Is Utah the only state where elementary school kids have half days on Friday? It drives me a little insane, especially since kindergarten is half day every day. We are raising wimps! Stick that five-ear-old in school ALL DAMN DAY LONG, am I right? Have them plow some fields while you’re at it.

Today Gigi and her sister Lola are coming home with Leta for the half day, and I thought I’d surprise them with some cupcakes. Of course, they aren’t allowed to touch a single one of these until they’ve scrubbed all the toilets, vacuumed the first and second floors, and figured out my 2013 taxes. This is the way the world works, kids. Be happy with this because cupcake stores didn’t even exist when I was your age.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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