Heater, Mother of Lance

Hair blogging

Due to the fact that I go to the gym most days, my kids always see my hair pulled back into a ponytail. They are also very used to seeing me in my gym clothes and on the rare occasion that I get dressed up they react exactly as if a pink unicorn has come alive and is pooping Skittles. One day last week I put on a pair of jeans and a plain white shirt that was not a workout shirt and after doing an almost cartoonish double take Leta said, “What HAPPENED to you?”

What a valid question. If the 17-year-old valedictorian Heather could see into her future she’d be all, “Are you seriously still wearing your yoga pants? It’s four o’clock in the afternoon.”

After bopping that uptight kid on the head I’d say, “Yes, in fact, I am. I happen to like these yoga pants. They are comfortable. AND THEY BRING ME JOY, something you will not discover for another couple of years when you finally stop feeling sorry for yourself and discover Zoloft. Also, could you please pluck your damn eyebrows.”

Yesterday I was wearing my hair down when Leta got home from school and she immediately ran over to me to pet it.

“Mom, you hair is so long!” she said running her fingers through it. That gentle moment between us made me stop for a second to think about it, and I realized that my hair has not been this long since I had my early-twenties post-Mormon wait-a-minute-I-live-in-LA “realization.” I put that word in quotes because “revelation,” although a much more accurate description, is much too religious to describe the relative debauchery that ensued. I cut all my hair off, bleached it blonde and then proceeded to party like it was 1999. Because it was, in fact, 1999.

This is the longest my hair has been in 15 years. It’s taken a little over two years to go from pixie to just below the shoulders, and when people ask me how long I intend to grow it I don’t have an answer. I’ve gone through so many stages with my hair over the years and haven’t ever really liked the process of growing it out, but this time has been totally different. Maybe because it has been a physical manifestation of change, a mirror of what has unfolded in my personal life. It’s a symbol of this journey I’ve been on which sounds gross and stupid, but it’s true. My hair is long. I’ve come this far. I am, once again, in the midst of another albeit very different “realization.”


I cut my hair off a few months after Marlo was born because shorter hair had always been easier for me to maintain, especially with a newborn around. But I’ve changed my mind about that. The length that I’m sporting now is so comfortable and uncomplicated. My hair has so much less of an impact on my daily routine now, and that is such a welcome departure. I also have to get it cut and colored far less frequently which saves me so much time and money. Hello, I am Heather and this is a hair commercial for long hair. Watch as I whip it over my shoulder and play coy with the camera. Just don’t pay attention to the fact that I’m still wearing my yoga pants. Or pooping Skittles.

Another welcome side effect is that I now use far less product than I used to which seems counterintuitive. Oddly, more hair does not mean more shampoo and more conditioner and more aerosol hairspray. Hair this long stays in place far better than the hair I had when I started to grow it out. I also got a fantastic recommendation from a friend and recently discovered Moroccan Oil. Holy shit, do you guys know about this stuff? Yes, it’s expensive but the tiniest bit goes a long way. It has since replaced two other products that I use to style my hair, PLUS it has solved the Kids Screaming While I Brush The Burning Bush Out of Their Hair, PLUS it smells so glorious that I may have once or twice been caught with my nose pressed into my hair with my eyes closed daydreaming about Ryan Gosling on a camel.

I rub a tiny bit into my hair before I blow it dry and a tiny bit after I blow it dry. I also use it when I’m going to let my hair air-dry. I also use it to season eggs, polish the kitchen table and solve Leta’s math homework.

Anyway, enough about my hair. Tell me about yours.

  • Laur

    2014/03/05 at 3:34 pm

    Heather, your hair looks fantastic! So happy that it brings you joy (love the phrase).
    Haven’t tried Moroccan Oil because I’m cheap, but I bought a tub of coconut oil for $17 at Costco last month and I am in love with it. Does wonders to smooth my hair and for my dry Calgary skin (which I hear is similar to dry Utah skin). I’m pretty sure that tub will last me the next ten years or until it goes rancid, whichever comes first. Plus, I actually can cook with it and polish the kitchen table!

  • Beverly

    2014/03/05 at 3:35 pm

    I completely agree with you. My (very red) hair is the longest it has been since my early twenties. I am 38 now. I love it. I feel so confident with it. Like “here I am, yeah, look at my hair!”. It makes me walk taller. I like Moroccan oil and Loma organic oil. It smells like a dreamsicle. Yeah hair!

  • bluesurly

    2014/03/05 at 3:37 pm

    You look great! Keep fighting the good fight 🙂

  • Rachel Sea

    2014/03/05 at 3:38 pm

    I started using aloe instead of gel, and it has changed my life. I use half as much conditioner, almost never use detangler, and my hair is so soft that I have to restrain myself from petting it. Bonus, I rub the excess aloe onto my face, and my skin is now as nice as I always thought 30-something year old skin should be (seriously, wrinkles and pimples? WTF is up with that?). I don’t even use facewash anymore.

  • amedame

    2014/03/05 at 3:40 pm

    I haven’t had a haircut since early November…of 2012. So I’m about to cut off many inches (8, 10, probably 12?) and trying to figure out whether Wigs for Kids or Children With Hair Loss is a better organization. If anyone here knows the scoop between the two, please enlighten me!

  • Tia

    2014/03/05 at 3:40 pm

    You need the Wet Brush for the girls. You can get them on amazon if your salon doesn’t sell them. My clients with daughters can’t live without it and my 2.5 yr old will actually brush HER OWN HAIR using it. Hairstylist approved & endorsed! Love the Moroccan oil too. This is my fave hairstyle on you, for what it’s worth. Glad you’re doing well!

  • bushra

    2014/03/05 at 3:45 pm

    yes, i love Moroccan Oil! the Moroccan Oil Leave-in Conditioner is excellent at taming my girl’s hair, and smells gorgeous too.

  • Heather Armstrong

    2014/03/05 at 3:45 pm

    Why have I never heard of this! No face wash at all?

  • Heather Armstrong

    2014/03/05 at 3:47 pm

    I love cooking with coconut oil, too. I just heard you can use it as an eye makeup remover, too. WHO KNEW. Didn’t know you could use it in your hair.

  • Heather Armstrong

    2014/03/05 at 3:47 pm

    Just ordered one. Done and done.

  • Faith Smith

    2014/03/05 at 3:48 pm

    I just went back to my banged bob last week, after spending a few months growing out my bangs from the previous banged bob I’d had over the summer. I’ll probably start growing them out again in another month, or so.

    Hair is just too easy to fuck around with. And so I do just that. 😀

  • MaryKC

    2014/03/05 at 3:49 pm

    When I set out on my divorce journey, I cut my hair off. The hair in my picture here is how my ex-husband preferred it, but I like the shorter length better and feel it better reflects me.

  • jess crawford!

    2014/03/05 at 3:52 pm

    I have had such a similar hair journey. I went through one life change, hacked all my hair off (shaved it off for charity, and might I recommend to everyone that if they’ve ever considered shaving their head that they try it, it is very liberating, and no bed head!), kept it short for awhile, went through another terrible life change, and then grew it out. It’s the longest it’s been in ten years and sometimes it pleases me to think about running into Those Involved In The Life Change and being momentarily unrecognizable to them because my hair is about a foot longer.

    Your hair looks great, Heather. 🙂 And isn’t moroccan oil so great?!

  • Beth Foster

    2014/03/05 at 3:52 pm

    Oh gosh, ITA…long hair is so much easier! After I had my son (now 4) I just let it grow and grow.It grew to the middle of my back and I loved it! I only washed it 2x a week and when i did, all I had to do is let it air dry-the natural curl just worked. But, if I wanted to fancy it up, a few min with an iron or hot rollers and it was perfect. I was heartbroken a few weeks ago when I had to make the decision to cut it short due to the fact it was falling out by the handfuls from chemo :(. I cried for 3 days. I still hate it. Even though it’s a nice cut, it doesn’t feel like ME, and it’s a lot more work. I definitly felt sexier with big, long hair.

  • Faith Smith

    2014/03/05 at 3:53 pm

    I use it now and then in the shower, but I’m like Rachel…I use a wet washcloth to remove makeup at the end of the day, and no soap. Works just fine. My face seems to love it, actually.

  • Meg

    2014/03/05 at 3:56 pm

    I like your hair this way, it’s pretty.

    My hair varies in texture depending on how I’ve dyed it and how frequently I’ve done so. (Short version : red hair turned dark brown in adulthood, dye it back to red because my skin DOES NOT work with brown, hair dye straightens my hair from frizzy/curly to wavy.) I’ve always liked the idea of short hair, but when my hair is shoulder-length or above, it is unmanageable and takes so long to wrangle even to just take the dog for a walk. It is true that shorter hair needs exponentially more product and time. For my hair and my life, longer is easier and I usually keep mine mid-bicep to elbow-length.

  • Heather Armstrong

    2014/03/05 at 3:59 pm

    You’re right, fancying it up takes just a few minutes with a curling iron. I’m so sorry to hear about chemo and hope you are feeling better and have a ton of support. Here’s to tons of long locks in your future!

  • Heather Armstrong

    2014/03/05 at 4:02 pm

    Do I ever hear you on that. I have fucked around with my hair SO much that I’m stunned I haven’t done anything to it in two years except let it grow. This means that tomorrow I will probably go out and dye it pink.

  • Jumpin'Jax Smash

    2014/03/05 at 4:08 pm

    My eight year old son Arthur has ORANGE hair by birth. I was a red head as a child and my blonde husband’s beard grows in red, so this was one lottery he was destined to win, (or loose, depending on how you feel about being a pale, skinny, ORANGE-headed eight year old named ARTHUR).

    Arthur was the lone red head in school and was picked on surprisingly bad for a first grader, so I did what (I thought) any “good mother” would do and dyed a LARGE chunk of my hair electric blue. It sounded like a much better idea in my head. Not to take the heat off my kid, it toughens him up for high school (which will probably be exponentially more awkward), but to prove that it is MORE than okay to be different. IT is BETTER to be different. People remember different. Different is GOOD.

    On my part I stood out from my peers (unforgiving often catty military spouses) and initially I regretted it badly. People starred. Openly. I cried. In public. I was still popping Zoloft like M&Ms and trying to overcome PPD with my second child and getting over my post-second-birth body issues. (Side note: Walking out of the Hunger Games theatre after the lights came up was one of the hardest things I have ever done!)

    Over the course of a few weeks I would forget I had a rainbow on my head. I would not notice people looking or if I did I would look to see if I had something on my shirt, or two mismatched shoes. One brave soul after the other would pay me a quiet compliment. Each one built me up a little more. I actually FELT myself becoming more confident. I would LOOK at the people that were starring, and SMILE at them. I started to OWN my “mistake”. I started to practically confront people. I may have felt (a wee little bit) good about embarrassing them by engaging them loudly and with enthusiasm. I paid a lot of compliments to other people, whether they needed it or not.

    I can’t say my choice of hair color CURED my depression, because diet, exercise, (and pharmaceuticals) had a lot to do with it, but it broke my little shell to bits. I wanted my kid to be the person I knew I was not. I wanted Arthur to be bone-proud of who he was. I wanted him to let the bullies propel him forward, not hold him back.

    I guess it was a two way lesson. Arty is doing much better in school and has much more important things to worry about, like cooties…

  • jA

    2014/03/05 at 4:15 pm

    i’ve heard good things about Children With Hair Loss. I’m about to cut off mine too!

  • Dana B.

    2014/03/05 at 4:19 pm

    I am 33 years old and I sport a curly blonde afro. There was a haircut debacle last summer, and my hair ended up being about two inches long. It’s taken over 6 months for it not to look like a curly bowl cut. However, I don’t really care how it looks because my beauty comes from within (just kidding I totally care how it looks).

  • katrin

    2014/03/05 at 4:19 pm

    I use Moroccan oil for my hair too (VERY long and thick) and have discovered it is fantastic as… well… lubricant… for … other activities….

  • Matilda

    2014/03/05 at 4:23 pm

    Two years ago, at 44, I grew my hair out, for the first time ever. It’s now down to the middle of my back. I struggle, because it’s not a particularly flattering style on me, yet I don’t want to cut it. I dyed it blood red. Because, as others have said, it’s now waaay more fun to fuck around with!

  • Superfantastic

    2014/03/05 at 4:23 pm

    I love your story. What a brave thing to do for your little guy. And military wives: AUGH. It’s high school all over again with some of these women. Fortunately, as I recall there’s a simple shot for cooties that can be performed on any playground.

  • kmpinkel

    2014/03/05 at 4:24 pm

    I got all crazy and decided to get bangs at the age of 43. I was hoping to look like a french nymph. I came home and my 12 year old daughter said I looked like a teenager. I call it a victoire! merci!

  • mjbutah

    2014/03/05 at 4:24 pm

    Holy martha this is so appropriate, as I have been thinking all day about cutting off my waist length hair. I find myself more and more just throwing it in a ponytail or braid and not wanting to deal with it so I started wondering, “is it time to just cut it all off?”
    My theory was always “if it is long, you can put it up but if it is already short there is nothing else to do with it”. I just need to quit being so lazy about it. And obviously buy some morroccan oil.

  • Jumpin'Jax Smash

    2014/03/05 at 4:28 pm

    I was thinking about a spray bottle with water in it or something…

    Oh! By the time we left our last duty station, just about everyone had unnatural hair color. I felt really proud of myself, that maybe (just maybe)I helped other women be brave too.

  • BornInaZoo

    2014/03/05 at 4:30 pm

    Out of 5 siblings, I was the one blessed with a combination of Dad’s super thick hair minus the straight and Mom’s crazy curls minus the thin. I had that for 44 years. It was a perfect combination of his jet black and her fiery red…. natural highlights. I could get my hair pixie cut in April and by Christmas it would be shoulder length. I only used products to contain the frizz during humid days.

    My paternal aunts always said, “Love this hair now, because it will be gone in your mid 40s. It’s just genes.” Holy shit, they were right!. I used to joke about that I had to wear a hat two sizes too big because my hair was so thick. These days to put it in a pony requires wrapping the band around it 6-7 times. Judging by my aunts, it shouldn’t get much thinner than this.

    But … wow … what an adjustment.

  • Jessica Bates

    2014/03/05 at 4:34 pm

    I stopped “washing” my hair with regular shampoo and conditioner about six weeks ago. I have in-between curly and straight hair, and I like it long, although it’s never really looked that great or that shiny. So I went to a baking soda/water mix for the wash and I don’t condition every time I wash. I instead condition using coconut oil and/or olive oil occasionally, and I use a drop or two of essential oil in there for a nice smell. My mother called me “unsanitary” for doing so, but my hair has never looked or felt better. Plus I only “wash” it about once a week now, maybe twice a week if I’m extra-sweaty. I always massage my scalp in the shower and that seems to do just fine! Hair is so insane!! Yours looks so lovely, by the way. 🙂 And do let us know how the Wet Brush works!

  • Carla

    2014/03/05 at 4:34 pm

    Only because you asked.

    I have sensory thingies. (I’m so tired of the word issues. Ugh.) In the 80s I battled my hair and at times became so stressed by this massive red sheath of moving stuff around my face, that I would pretend to be sick and skip school.

    It sounds like something any teenage girl would do, but for me it was total sensory overload. So I started having visions of myself with super short hair. But no one wanted to butcher my beautiful hair, and over the years I’d cave to trends and do this and that to my locks, but never did I do want I wanted to do: shave it off.

    And then I met my husband. We met in a thrift store. I was fidgety and uncomfortable that day. He asked why, and I mumbled something about how annoying hair is. He said so go without. Less than three months later when I was freaking out at the courthouse and about to marry him and change my last name, I said okay. Let’s do this. Let’s go full monty, save some money, and cut our own hair.

    A few days later we bought a shaver and sheared it all off. It felt amazing. I no longer had constant annoying sensations from my hair. My head felt light and breezy, and I felt a sense of calm and peace. My hair is now a mere half inch long, and I love it.

    My parents, however, don’t. My lovely father wrote a poem called “My daughter the it” and my mother cried. But my husband said he loves me, and so here I am: gleefully, merrily shaved (up top) and as womanly as I have ever been.

  • faydean

    2014/03/05 at 4:45 pm

    Yup. At the age of 41, my hair is the longest it’s been since my first daughter was born (when my hormones made it grow like a beanstalk!) My face looks better, I think, with shorter hair (angular features), but I don’t care! After I had a hysterectomy nearly two years ago, again, the hormones said, “Hey…let’s play with your hair!” So, they made it fall out in clumps and grow back curly! Oh, and with major gray! So, now I have long hair, passed my shoulders, that is wavy! It’s like I joined the hair witness protection program…no one recognizes me. A few months ago I went to a new stylist, who totally FUCKED up my color, and it had to be died DARK brown to fix it until I could let it rest and go back to my dirty blonde color. So, then I was like a totally different person, which was sort of fun (until I hated it). Hair is just hair…it grows and falls out and changes color, alot like people : ). I like the longer hair on you. We share a “chin”, so I’ve been told longer hair softens my features, lol. I do think it’s true. Besides, nothing is more fun that a cute high ponytail or messy bun!

    Now, for a newly born wavy haired girl…how do you get yours this straight!? I own no tools for such things and would burn my hair up if I did. So I have to try and blow out the wave, which takes FOREVER and never really works great. Moroccan is my jam!!! I use it on my girls hair as well. Rusk has a great line of products with argan oil that smell divine!!!

  • Anna

    2014/03/05 at 4:59 pm

    My new years resolution has been to take more time for myself and, with that, it has meant weekly blow outs. I go to a blow out bar and I can make a blow out last 5 days without it being greasy (thanks dry shampoo!). So that means Tuesday through Saturday, I have pretty hair, hair I feel more confident in and hair that looks professional. I have long curly hair that I still, after 30+ years on this earth, not figured out how to manage (yes, i’ve tried no-poo, no-sulfate, no-wash, everything that is supposed to work, it just never looks as good as a blowout). I feel like people take me more seriously at work (I wore my hair in a bun LITERALLY every day). It’s be a REVELATION.

  • Maree

    2014/03/05 at 5:02 pm

    There already are hair blogging conferences! At least in the African American community. Hair is a huge deal. Just look on youtube. Anyway, my hair is waist length and kinky curly. In it’s curly state it’s only shoulder length though 🙁 shrinkage is a bitch.

  • whodatwhodatwhodatwhodatwho

    2014/03/05 at 5:07 pm

    Same. Exactly the same experience here. Did the pixie, realized between looking at myself and others that it’s not that flattering for many, including myself and now am enjoying my gloriously easy, long hair and wishing others would do the same. You look mahvelous darling. Simply mahvelous.

  • Jeanie

    2014/03/05 at 5:07 pm

    You look gorgeous now and as your 17-year-old self. Nothing great about my hair, and I’ve been wearing it the same way for far too long: Short, slightly spiky on top, DA in the back, and tucked behind my ears on the sides. OMG, I can just picture what you must be thinking. I promise mine is a feminine look since I have a little curl to my hair.

  • Heather Armstrong

    2014/03/05 at 5:10 pm

    Whatever might you be speaking of?

  • Rhonda

    2014/03/05 at 5:10 pm

    I was voted “least likely to do anything with her hair” in high school so it is appropriate that one of my children grew up and got herself her own hair salon in order to save me from myself. Her hair salon also has hair oil stuff – Shu Uemura and L’Oreal Professionale. Love, love, love what it does for my 58 yo hair (which is also non-gray thanks to said daughter)!

  • Esther

    2014/03/05 at 5:18 pm

    I never, ever change my hair. It’s always long and brown and boring…except for that one time I shaved it.

  • Erin Trail

    2014/03/05 at 5:24 pm

    I usually get tired of long hair and typically cut my hair chin length. But then every summer, I grow it out to ponytail length for my big triathlon race of the season. Mainly because short hair + swimming + immediately putting on a bike helmet = bad looking race photos. This past year I started doing pigtail braids during races and decided I really like it. So I didn’t do my usual “race season is over, lets chop off all my hair” routine. This is the first winter in a long time where my hair is long. A bonus is that I discovered its long enough for pigtail braids “rabbit ears” when I wear my ski helmet. Super cute!

  • Erin Human

    2014/03/05 at 5:24 pm

    You do look great. But you will never convert me… neverrrrr!!! My hair is so fine that when I’ve had it grown out long my ponytail has the girth of an index finger. It breaks along the hairline and part. It’s all around awful. I’m sticking with my pixie. But you look lovely, you do.

  • Rachel Sea

    2014/03/05 at 5:38 pm

    Nope, the oily parts of my face have been less oily, and the dry parts less dry, so I’m not needing to either deep-clean my pores or exfoliate like I used to. I use a tiny droplet of soap on a q-tip to get stubborn eyeliner off, swipe my face with a wet washcloth, and done.

    I also use it on my still-wet legs after shaving, and it makes my skin look great -like baby oil but without the greasy residue.

    And it’s less than $10 for 24oz, so I’m spending next to nothing on skin and hair products.

  • KC

    2014/03/05 at 5:42 pm

    Right now, I look like Pepé LePew. I have dark hair with a silverish, grey streak on top of my head. Naturally, this streak is where my hair parts. I am long overdue for a cut and color. Every time I go to make an appointment with my hairdresser something else comes up! I love when I am having a conversation with someone, and I catch them glancing at the top of my head, like they are thinking, do something with that already!

    You look lovely, great hair and really beautiful eyes 🙂

  • Dora B.

    2014/03/05 at 6:27 pm

    I sooooooooooo agree about longer hair being LESS maintenance than short hair. I’m in the process of growing mine out as well, and I can’t wait to have it be below my shoulders. What people don’t realize about short hair is that you have to get it trimmed every couple of weeks, otherwise it looses its shape.

  • Leslie C.

    2014/03/05 at 6:48 pm

    My hair! Such a story. So many stories! But the latest is that I’m finally highlighting it again after a multi-year hiatus. My hair is naturally quite dark brown, and when I made the decision 4 years ago to stop making chocolates and start trying to get into vet school, I stopped really caring about my hair. It was serviceable, and I had a few decent cuts, but it was a big reflection of my life – inward focused and not at all interested in appearance. Then, last fall, I made the decision to start taking care of more than my brain again, and I went back to my favorite stylist (seriously, she’s a magician who has never led me astray in 18 years – I first saw her at age 12). The beautiful, subtle golden highlights went back in and my face brightened up. I feel pretty for the first time in a long time. As for products, I love this Josie Maran argan oil shimmery stuff that was in a gift set sold at Sephora this Christmas. I rub a little bit in while it’s still wet and it comes out like goddess hair every time.

  • Kiwifruit

    2014/03/05 at 6:50 pm

    My hair is green, I have the sides and the back completely shaved and I wear the hair that is long on top (like 4-5 inches) in curls. I actually prefer to have my head completely shaved bald, it is when I feel my most confident and foxy, but even in my twenties my mama gets super heart broken. She has accepted that I will never have long hair because I got her hair which is SO freaking thick and there is SO freaking much I can not even deal. She has also accepted it will never be a natural color, I feel most natural in the blue and green family. But she will never, EVER accept a shaved head, and I love and adore her way to much to break her lil heart.

  • Kate

    2014/03/05 at 8:35 pm

    Perfect timing! I have an appointment tomorrow to get a cut and color. It’s been a while since I’ve highlighted my hair. I found the need when I saw a few GRAY HAIRS two weeks ago. I haven’t been the same since. 32 and gray. And single. Buy me a cat and call me crazy. I was going to chop my hair, that is very similar to yours, but now I want it to grow!

  • chuck

    2014/03/05 at 8:45 pm

    I grew my hair out for over two years then recently donated it to Locks of Love so they can make hair pieces for children who lost their hair to disease or chemo. I felt so happy doing that. Then i got a buzz cut and that is where i am now. sigh

  • Julie

    2014/03/05 at 8:47 pm

    I got tired of my stylist interpreting “take off an inch” (and measuring it for her) as take of somewhere between 2 and 3 inches. She refused to allow it to grow out long enough to what she herself suggested would be the most “attractive” style for my face. So I stopped getting my hair cut about 2-1/2 years ago. Well, I got the bottom trimmed when I got it permed 6 months ago (it’s baby fine and flat, except for the cowlick on top.) I’m not sure I really like it, but it’s a lot easier to take care of.

  • Teal

    2014/03/05 at 8:59 pm

    Sigh…I’ve had just about as many hair incarnations as I’ve had years on this planet. It’s been blonde, it’s been red, it’s been chestnut brown. It’s been spiral permed, (that was an ill-fated idea) it’s been bobbed, it’s been waved, it’s been long, it’s been too short, I’ve used hot rollers & curling irons, diffusers & blow dryers. Pretty much anything you can think of in regards to hair, I’ve done it. When I got to be an adult, I realized what a nice wave it had if I’d just leave it alone. I now just wash and go, with the occasional deep conditioning treatment.

  • RzDrms

    2014/03/05 at 9:09 pm

    This is the best comment I’ve read in a long time.

Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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