This here bringer of the pooper to the fun party

Zucchini noodles with avocado cream sauce

Thing are getting serious around here, you guys. Some virus has infected my brain because I went out and invested in some significant cooking equipment: a food processor and (Jesus Christ I am so embarrassed to even type these words out) a spiral vegetable slicer. A what? Yeah. I’m making the jerk off motion in harmony with you.

I was looking online for the next recipe I wanted to try and when I saw this one for paleo zucchini noodles with avocado cream sauce I was like, the Holy Ghost has lead me here. Sorry, Mom. I know I’ve been blasphemous twice already in this post, but your daughter is COOKING. No, I haven’t returned to church but look at me honing my sister wife skills!

I’ve seen tons of paleo recipes that use vegetables as a replacement for pasta and I wanted to see if it was a valid substitute for something so filling. I’ve attempted this recipe twice, the first time last weekend and I could not believe I had made something so flavorful and correct the first time. The noodles turned out exactly like they were supposed to, and the sauce, holy crap. You could totally use that sauce as a dip, and next time I’m invited to a party I’m going to bring it in a fancy bowl, walk in the door and yell, “I MADE THIS.” And then play air guitar maniacally.

Today I made it for lunch to see if Tyrant would agree with me about how delicious it is. I decided to add some grilled chicken to my portion since I worked out and want some more protein, and then I sliced up some tomatoes to add a dash of color. Verdict?

“You’ve made some nice meals before, but this is by far the most incredible thing you’ve ever cooked.”

Mom! Mom! I am not a useless homemaker after all! Jesus might still love me!

The secret is that sauce, I’m telling you. It’s fascinating how creamy it is without any dairy. If you skip the meat, this meal is perfect for vegetarians as well as vegans. If you’re a raw foodie, just skip the cooking part.

My god, this is fun.

Previous recipes:
Cauliflower fried rice and sautéed mushrooms
Tuna patties and coleslaw
Your basic chicken salad
Mild yellow chicken curry
Curried cream of broccoli soup
Paleo carrot soup

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