An unfiltered fire hose of flaming condemnation

4 years, 364 days

Five years ago today I thought I was going to remain pregnant for the rest of my life. Marlo’s due date wasn’t until the following day, but pregnancy brain had convinced me that I could be the first person to remain pregnant forever. I’m one of the lucky ones whose kid actually showed up on the day she was due, and now this perfect, charming, ideal baby is well on her way to conquering the world and showing it little mercy.

Tomorrow she turns half a decade old. My Lil Donette.

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Heather B. Armstrong

Hi. I’m Heather B. Armstrong, and this used to be called mommy blogging. But then they started calling it Influencer Marketing: hashtag ad, hashtag sponsored, hashtag you know you want me to slap your product on my kid and exploit her for millions and millions of dollars. That’s how this shit works. Now? Well… sit back, buckle up, and enjoy the ride.

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